My wife and I have been married for almost 7 years now and we have 3 kids. My stp daughter 19 and a 6 year old and 3 year old. It all started about Halloween. We had been talking about how we dont talk. It went on and of for a month. then just after thanksgiving we had it out. She told me that we were having serious financial problems. I didnt realize how bad it was until then. She yelled and I yelled. Then she finally told me that she was so angry at that point that she felt we needed to see a counselor or something. I agreed. I tried to talk to her on and off for the the past few days after. She was then saying that she has turned her self off emotionally and that she could not give me any simple yes or no answers to any of my questions. I ask her if she still loves me but she says that she can not answer that right now. Finally this past week she told me that if there was anything left in this marriage She had to work on it.
I was told by my step daughter that she basically has been supporting the family and I have not been trying hard enough. She had been working 3 jobs and I have only one. So she has all but given up. I have been trying for the past month to find a second job but She just seem not to care about anything I say or how I feel. I have been trying and asking her what does she want but all she can say is that there are no simple yes or no answers and now she feels we need to separate to see if we can make it work out. She says she doesnt feel stable in this marriage and she feels that she has lost all security in this marriage. I asked her if she love me, She could only say that love is not enough and actions speek louder than words.
She went to see a counselor without me and she only says that she got some insight and alot to think about and will not tell me anything else.

What do I do? I am just sitting here waiting for something to happen but she wont say or tell me anything.

She says that there isnt anyone else and she denies having a boyfriend. But I found some text messages on the cell phone and she says its a man she works with and he likes her but that they are only friends. Other texts say how he wants to see her and about having dinner after the holidays. What does this mean?

Welcome to MarriageBuilders, OGC...

So sorry you have to be here at this time...please be sure to pass on Harley's great info to your SD19 (step-daughter19)...because he can show you have to have a thriving marriage.

Please read all the articles he's written on this website...begin with Basic Concepts (linked to the right of your screen). My wish is for you to find hope in those articles, how relationships really work.

Sounds like you're in high stress right now...and have been for over two months...and you're right, you know...she is having an A. Don't spend your energy and focus on making her own that it's an EA (emotional affair)...she's allowing another man to meet her ENs.

That's an A.

You've come to the best place I know of to save your marriage. Just the wrong forum.

Can you please combine your posts and copy them to the Infidelity General Questions II forum? Even if you decide she's not having an A later...still the forum with the most traffic and experience in resolving conflict, fomenting marital harmony and getting to the issues underneath the issues.

Please keep posting...and find out all you can about this OM (other man)...his name, if he's married, separated, has a GF...do your homework. This is verifying the truth, which isn't betraying your W's truth right now. She is choosing to believe she isn't having an A. That's her opinion. Don't take it as fact.

Thanks for being here...

You're not alone. You're not crazy. And yes, your marriage can be saved.

LA