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Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 12
S
Junior Member
Junior Member
S Offline
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 12
My FWH has a friend who's wife starts conversations with him when he calls over there. My FWH said he has only had a few conversations with her but the one I know of it was over 30 min. I think that's inappropriate especially since my husband has been unfaithful one already. We agreed that when he called he would get to the point ask for him then that is it. The other night he called to talk to his friend and she answered and said he wasn't there, she proceeded to ask my FWH how things have been, he answered with kidney stones, then of course started a whole new conversation, he asked her all the questions about stones he was going to ask her husband because he had them before. For one I think he was wrong to initiate a conversation with her and he should have just said oh nothing new, ok have so and so call me back, plus he told me NOT to tell anyone about his stones. I run a daycare and I was told not to tell my parents so when we went to the emergency room I had to come up with an excuse as to why our daughter was watching their kid, (we didn't know he had them yet) but even after he told me NOT to tell anyone, I didn't. My FWH says he was put on the spot when she asked him what's been going on, I don't get that, then he said, I didn't do anything wrong, he would have told her anyways about the stones and I thought maybe he already didm, plus it's my friends wife. So I think he was wrong, he obviously doesn't realize how affairs or EN's can start. It bothers me because if he claims he was put on the spot with that how do I trust him in other situations? Or is my mind just going crazy with imagining what could happen? I know my husband doesnt like to be rude and that got him into trouble 16 yrs ago when the neighbor girl had a thing for him, he couldn't tell her to leave him a lone, or to just drop what he was doing and come in the house when she came in the garage several times to see him, which this almost cost me to leave because she started to stir up trouble. I was sitting there when he called his friend and she answered, but when he started chatting with her I gave him a dirty look and he tried to quickly end it, so what if I wasn't there, how long would he have "chatted' with her. so am I overreacting to this, was he wrong or not, this is really upsetting me and ruining my holidays, am I being way to sensitive and imagining too much??? Please help Thanks

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 8,970
L
Member
Member
L Offline
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 8,970
SLH,

I read your other thread in the Resolving Conflict Forum.

I'm a little confused why you choose to post to this forum instead of the Infidelity General Questions II forum. Seems to me you're in recovery right now, a year in from your DDay when you found out your FWH had a ONS 16 years ago.

Is that not correct?

If so, please move your posts (you can copy and past them from this thread and the other one, to the other forum...or in the Recovery Forum, if you'd like)...so you can get the most traffic and hear from people who have walked in your shoes.

You are not alone. His ONS from 16 years ago was withheld from you all this time...that's a lot of lying by omission. So you have both to deal with.

Along with recovery advice, I'm sure posters will help you with the control issues, the SD's, what healthy marital boundaries are separate from individual ones.

You're in the best place, I believe...and I applaud your willingness and bravery posting here. I just think you'd receive a lot of help in the other forum.

You and your marriage is worth it.

LA

Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 12
S
Junior Member
Junior Member
S Offline
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 12
sorry I didn't realize that, I thought because it was a conflict we were having I was in the right forum, I will copy and paste it to other forum, thanks


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