My wife and I have been married for almost 7 years now and we have 3 kids. My stp daughter 19 and a 6 year old and 3 year old. It all started about Halloween. We had been talking about how we dont talk. It went on and of for a month. then just after thanksgiving we had it out. She told me that we were having serious financial problems. I didnt realize how bad it was until then. She yelled and I yelled. Then she finally told me that she was so angry at that point that she felt we needed to see a counselor or something. I agreed. I tried to talk to her on and off for the the past few days after. She was then saying that she has turned her self off emotionally and that she could not give me any simple yes or no answers to any of my questions. I ask her if she still loves me but she says that she can not answer that right now. Finally this past week she told me that if there was anything left in this marriage She had to work on it.
I was told by my step daughter that she basically has been supporting the family and I have not been trying hard enough. She had been working 3 jobs and I have only one. So she has all but given up. I have been trying for the past month to find a second job but She just seem not to care about anything I say or how I feel. I have been trying and asking her what does she want but all she can say is that there are no simple yes or no answers and now she feels we need to separate to see if we can make it work out. She says she doesnt feel stable in this marriage and she feels that she has lost all security in this marriage. I asked her if she love me, She could only say that love is not enough and actions speek louder than words.
She went to see a counselor without me and she only says that she got some insight and alot to think about and will not tell me anything else.

What do I do? I am just sitting here waiting for something to happen but she wont say or tell me anything.

Update. She tells me that this OM, is a person she works with who supplies equipment to the company. But I find on our cell phone bill that they are texting back and forth and the text I did find saying that she would try to set up dinner sometime after the holidays.
She tells me that there is nothing to worry about and that she has no one else in the shadows. I just dont feel she is telling me the truth. As we talked the Sunday 23rd. She tells me that he is divorced and has 2 kids. But I found out that he is 10 years younger then her. I have asked her if this is a person I need to worry about. She says no and that there is no one else. She says she wants no one else. And that we have to work out our marriage alone. She agreed to let me go see her counselor with her but she has to ask her counselor if it is okay.
Se seems sincer but I have so much fear and doubt.

onegoodcop, try to keep one thread only so you can get as much help as possible. Cut and paste the above onto your other thread 'she says there is no-one else' so we can get a clearer picture of what's going on.