When I ask her if she loves me she says she does. She says the words I love you. but when I ask her if she is in love with me she wont give me an straight answer.
I told her that I was in love with her and she repied "and I love You." "But we I need time, just give me time."
we almost broke up according to her now. We were financially melting and she felt i was not providing for the family enough. I make 33,000 a year and she makes 52,000 a year and our bills are crazy. The rent is too high to mention because of the house we live in due to our credit. we cant by one right now. but since October she has been asking me to find a second job and keeps nagging at me that she is working 3 jobs and every weekend. I have been trying like a mad man. I finally got one only I have to do alot of paper work to get it. So now that I am about to go get this second job that will put me working 130 hours every 2 weeks. She more or less says Actions Speak Louder than Words..... I keep asking her how she feels and she wont give me straight anwer. Its always, "Time, I need time." She say we are going in the right direction now. but as for emotions, there are not many to be found. She wont talk about the OM who she works with. And I noticed No calls from him or texts on the phone bill.
I gave her a new wedding ring for christmas because she lost her other one due to her weight loss. She has been wearing it since. That just confusses me. I thought she would take it off right away. But she tells me that we are working in the right direction. But i cant help feel something still isnt right. She says she has nothing to hide. "quote" "things will be what they are meant to be."
WHAT DOES THIS MEAN???? "TIME WILL TELL" she says. I know I ready for this work. And she says, "again things are not going to change overnight, give it time." It has been a month now that we have become closer. I know we are rebuilding our marriage from the financial part but she pretty much told me she was about ready to walk away from this because she felt not security or stability due to the bills. Again I was confused. I tell her I love her more than breathing and she only comes back with, "I know." this is from a chat we had online.....
me: You sound like you are not sure anymore with me
her: nothing in life is ever promised
her: we have a nurse who one minute was working monday
her: and now shes on a vent at at st. johns hospital
me: If that we are meant to be??? what do you mean that you are not sure of us or that you may not be around for me and the kids
me: what are you afraid of?????
her: I know that if things keep moving in the direction there moving we have a good chance
her: Not afraid of anything
her: But please dont force me to go faster [color:"blue"] [/color] you will only serve to push me away
her: Then that is something you have to think about. If I was done I would tell you I havent so lets just go day by day


Does this sound right from her? I am so confused.

Her hiding her cell phone is a clear (possible) indication that she is cheating. Her saying that she needs time is that she wants to continue her affair to see where it leads before she decides to leave you for good or stay.

You need solid proof as to whether she's having an affair or not. What does your instict and all the circumstantial evidence tell you?

There is a lot of fog babble here. And she will be back and forth and hot and cold for some time. Don't try to make sense of the things she says. You can't.

Are you now conducting a real solid Plan A?

Have you done the reading that has been advised to you.

A good Plan A avoids a lot of relationship talk. And she is right about one thing, waywards see action but can't hear a thing.

Plan A and snoop your butt off.

You should try to stick to a single thread so people can keep up on your background info.

Happy Birthday Chrisner,

I hope it is a good one.

I get a lot of that same talk from my wife. Its one of the most frustrating things imaginable, I would prefer a definite 'no' to the fog-babble.

I'm still making mistakes in my own situation but one piece of advice I do feel confident in sharing is this ..

trust YOUR instincts, you know your wife

I went against my instincts and together we made the troubles in our M even worse with bad decisions and spiteful behavior. Now the road to recovery is that much harder.

I suspect your wife is a monogamous-at-heart person who caught herself being drawn away from her marriage. The attention from this OM made her feel good and it really frightened her. Now she wants to fix the problems in her marriage that made her so unhappy that something like this could happen.

I think all you need is a good strong plan to get yourself out of financial hardship. Something very organized and in writing to show her that you understand her need for FS and that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Perhaps an appointment with a financial planner?