Spoke to WH and he says he is willing to look at MB site.

Is it a good idea?

Where do I direct him?

You could but until he chooses shed his WS skin, he may not appreciate the support here.

Howz about sharing the concepts section and let him take the EN questionnaire. Let him read His Needs/Her Needs and Surviving an Affair. If he is still agreeable, introduce him to a session or 2 with Steve. Then show him here.

Of course that might be too long for him and his curiosity may make him want to find out what's your attraction here. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

L.

I know I'm grasping at straws as he is living with OW.I don't think he will be able to read the books because he is living with OW.I will show him EN questionare and basic concepts.Is there anything on notable posts by pepperband that I should show him or elsewhere?

IMO if he is living with the OW don't show him this site, espcially if he knows you post here.

They both may end up reading your threads and know all of your thoughts.

In the WS mindframe they may celebrate in your unhappiness over the situation.

Share the concepts, but not the site.

LC

They will celebrate your unhappiness, especially the OW, but that is not the main reason to worry - it is that you will lose all tactical advantage and the element of surprise.

I would just copy and paste to a word document anything you want him to read, be it anecdotes or articles, and print it out for him.

Why does he want to read MB? Find out the real reason, then decide if it is worth sharing with him at this time.

I would give him the books 1st.

L.

hopeandpray: Sorry you are having such a difficult time, particularly around the holidays.

You asked if your WH, who is currently living w/OW, should look at the site. Other posters, particularly Orchid, have given you excellent advice.

I would like to echo the advice that giving him access to the site *at this point* is not a good idea. You have probably posted some things here that it would be better that he didn't read. This is because right now he is not at home.

Once he is at home, and recovery can begin, then yes, I would show him the site and encourage him to participate if he is so inclined. Is he a reader? Because I think that giving him Surviving An Affair would be a good idea.

From what I have seen (and experienced to a limited degree) is that many WSs are concerned that they will not be forgiven by their BS. That the marriage can not possibly continue once infidelity has been discovered. Surviving An Affair makes a very convincing case (due to the extreme nature of one of the affairs in the book, Jon and Sue, I believe) that marriages can continue and even thrive after an affair.

I also recommend Torn Asunder.

Take care.

PK

I don't recommend any WS be directed to this site while they are in full fog and still living outside the home. Only when they have committed to the M would I show them this site.

Many WS have found this site and in turn the BS has had to stop posting. Too much info given to the WS and OP is not helpful to the BS. The BS is way too exposed.

Thanks for all the advice.WH doesn't have internet access at OP's house.He does at work but OP works with him.As he is coming home to spend time with DD15 its the perfect chance for him to check out MB.I wasn't intending to show him the discussion forum as this is MY safe haven!!

I will show him basic concepts and EN questionaire,don't want to bombard him with too much.