The 1st Christmas is the Worst


Well, here it is, the 25th of December
And I’ve had 60 Christmas’s that I remember
I thought the best ones were when I was a little boy
On my knees tearing open a present to find some toy
But I was wrong,
The best ones were yet to come along
They were the ones when I had a little girl of my own
I thought the loneliest ones I ever spent
Were on an island in the ocean where I was sent
An 18 year old solider that had never been away from home
Spent the next two Christmas’s listening to Christmas songs
On an empty beach, looking at the ocean all alone
I thought I’d never feel that alone
But, again I was wrong
There’s never been a Christmas this sad
At least not one that I ever had
There’s no Christmas tree in the corner of the room
There’s just me hoping it’ll be day light soon
Cause when this night is gone
It means that’s one less that I have to spend alone
Soon kids will be waking up to see what Santa brought
But I’ll be sitting here in the dark with my thoughts
That’s just what an old man that’s all alone does
But she’ll be waking up soon in the arms of someone she loves
It seems Santa came early and brought her a lover
After 27 Christmas’s we spent with each other
It’s looking like there will never be another
As I’m holding her picture
And thinking of how much I miss her
She’s standing under a mistletoe so he can hold her and kiss her
I spent so many years
Living on false hopes and tears
Then God made me a promise that He said He would keep
But the chances of that seem less with each passing week
I had hope’s we’d be a family again by Christmas time
But that was just another false hope that was just in my mind
No body knows how much longer they’ve got
And I really don’t care if I see another Christmas or not
God’s let me live to see all my kids grown
And I no longer have a wife that I’d be leaving on her own
It seems like I spent the last half of my life where I didn’t belong
So it’s not like anybody would miss me if I was gone
I don’t blame her for me growing old all alone
And I don’t blame her for not wanting to come back home
It’s hard to face the facts
And the reason she won’t be back
She found another page
Where she could find someone her own age
But I’ll have a Merry Christmas in my mind
In the darkness I can turn back the hands of time
To a Christmas when she was mine
When I was the one she couldn’t resist
And when I wasn’t there, I was the one she missed
Rather than face another Christmas like this
I’d gladly lay down my life
For just one final Christmas, with a family and a wife

Marty

I'd like to update this. It was written LAST Christmas Eve and my out look this year is a lot better. [color:"blue"] [/color]

Hi Marty,

Thank you for your beautiful poem. Something about poetry and emotions go hand and hand (and there's nothing like the holidays to deeply stir the emotions). Thank you for adding the update. I pray 2008 Christmas is even better. I don't know if you've posted elsewhere, but I will look for your story. We have something in common - I've also had 27 Christmases.

Blessings,
EE

Hey Echo, Frist let me appoligise for taking so long to get back to you. I used to post my poems on several sites like this in hopes that one poem would help at least one person....I forgot I was on this site. Again I'm sorry. I just wanted to thank you for taking the time to read and comment on my poem. Later, Marty