*cough*
I suppose this is only important for people who were following my story, but I'm still here. No, I didn't really give up. Of course not! My posts are still there if someone wants to read it. It matters not if I deleted it, 'she's' in possession of hard copies of everything as crazy people like that seem to need physical proof to make your life ******.

I'm hoping this is who I think. If so. GOOD for you!

I believe it is! This time though, more humor and less 'life is a disaster'. We'll all get through this. We have each other.

Humor is good. Love your location. LOL <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Hmm, I was putting library books on hold again. I already have read SAA, but I re-held that one thinking it might be more applicable now, plus 'Love Busters' and "His Needs, Her Needs". What other books (other than Torn Asunder that no libraries in my area have) would you suggest I look for before I go searching all the posts on this site?

I saw a lot of people viewed this thread, but I think you are the only one who knows who I am Meggy. Oooor, I'm really just boring! *sniff*

No... give them a better clue.

It's no big deal. Let's think - um WS lives with OW and OW is crazy, just had a new baby, in school.

I just have a nagging feeling about being safe on here. Which is funny.. but I'm a little scared of the particular OW in my situation. Not that she's done anything that different from the crazy OW part in the script she's in. WS was mad at me for what happened, but I asked him and he's not anymore. What that means for us, I don't know, but I'm going to remain hopeful.

Did your name start with a "G"???

Well, I guess until work starts I'll be reading other people's stuff. I'm just trying to figure out where I am in this. It's not like fog speak so much. He sounded remorseful, understanding, wanting to work on things. But - he's still there, living with OW. It's driving me crazy, to be honest. So, I agree with what you wrote, Meggy, I think there's a chance. What do I do now though? Just sit and wait?

ahhhh -- welcome back.

Very glad to see you back. I was worried about what happened. I didn't really catch it from your last posts.
Obviously OW found you here. And all ****** must be breaking loose from the plan for WH to return to you....

When it comes to your WH -- words mean nothing. Actions count.

Who cares what he SAYS he's gonna do. What is he actually DOING?

Bell -- I think he's cake-eating big time. He's stringing you along with what you want to hear, trying to buy more time. Meanwhile he is STILL very much in that relationship with her.

Yeah, I know that's probably what he's doing.
He's saying that while he knows that she's been manipulating him, he feels because I'm doing what I've received as advice here that I am also manipulating him.

His actions are still really, really confusing me. The stress I'm feeling is affecting everything I do. I mean I suppose they are both quite aware I want him to come home, so it's not something I need to reiterate again. And with her, I think what made things blow up more over in fantasyland is that she didn't realize I wanted him - she had the impression I was fine with everything.

You guys are so cute posting on my old post.
I'm okay! Annnd don't worry, I'm still following MB principles. Just not where Queen OW can see it. G-d forbid I rough their waters up any more than they have. They are doing a great job destroying fantasyland themselves.

Oh, I hope this is who I think it is. So glad you are still here! But think I will still post on your old post just to give the crazy OW something to think about.

Well, an update. He isn't sure if he wants to come home anymore. I keep making him mad or something. I started work and I am really tired and coherent typing is lackluster at best.

First issue I have - How do I convince him that my posting here was NOT to manipulate him? He says that my posts showed him how I felt about him and not in a good light. I explain and explain that it wasn't like that..

Hey bella!

You cannot convince a wayward of anything. The only thing you can do is disengage from the drama and take care of yourself. He will notice. And your refusal to be part of his fantasy world will wake him up faster anything else. Because you know he is cake-eating, and he is doing it in the most digusting way...by making you feel that you are in a contest and that you are not a better choice right now than OW. She is busy exposing herself as a phychob**ch and therefore you need to be the exact opposite. But not to "win him back" as much as to "be a better person for YOURSELF!" Because YOU deserve the very best.

Take care!!!

Yes, a big duh. I know all this.
I just read your stuff on another post Resonance.
Then I took a shower and thought on things.
After switching over to night shift and not being a nocturnal person to begin with, I have turned needy and whiny and I have WAY TOO MUCH TIME TO THINK!. Not to WS, per se, but even so. I fell into the trap.

That's right, I'm back after this commercial break!

All of the accusing me of keeping the kids away, needing to go back on my meds (yeah I liked that one, too), telling my DD that he's 'never coming back', and not being sure 'anymore' if he even wanted to come home - I have to remember it's all just words! He's in there somewhere and like the lighthouse he always promised to get me some day I still need to be strong and shine bright.

On another topic: does anyone have any suggestions when you're up in the middle of the night and lonely and can't find a good distraction?

"On another topic: does anyone have any suggestions when you're up in the middle of the night and lonely and can't find a good distraction?"

Reading always puts me to sleep. Or you could just get up and clean. That works too.

But if you are on your meds, the sleeplessness should cease.

There is nothing wrong with your posting. Your husband is the loser.

I listen to a 20-minute meditation track on my iPod. Sleep seems to come much easier when I do.

My husband isn't a loser - My WS is, though.

You guys misunderstood. I mean things to do to stay awake, not fall asleep! I'm great at sleeping when I get the opportunity. The nurses on duty usually let me go walk around for awhile, but even that, at say 3 am, isn't terribly helpful. I haven't fallen asleep at work yet, but I can vouch for drifting off a few times so far.

Since usually my patients are asleep all I can do is think, think, think or read a book until the words blur together. Hah, maybe I should bring more books with me.