This has probably been covered many times. If you know, or found out about someone cheating on their spouse, like a co-worker for instance, should you tell the BS maybe anonymously or should you just mind your own business?

Supply solid evidence.

I wish someone would have told me, I would consider them my best friend.

The ones who KNEW and did NOTHING, I consider them enablers and cheerleaders. In other words a despicable waste of oxygen.

I would definitely tell the BS.

I would have given anything if SOMEONE would have given me a clue about my H. Please see my sig line.

I don't know if I can get past the resentment and hurt from it all for my marriage to survive at this point.

It would have saved me and my children years of pains, if only someone would have come forward.

By all means, tell the BS. They have a right 2 know who they're married 2, and a chance 2 decide whether they want 2 save their own marriage.

There are probably very few exceptions where you shouldn't tell immediately. Most notably, if the BS is potentially violent. But even then, the WS should get help from someone not conflicted - i.e., not likely 2 get romantically involved with them rather than help them with their marriage problems. Like a battered spouse's shelter, for example.

-ol' 2long

I would tell. I wouldn't be able to mind my own business. I would make absolutely certain first, though.

That's just MHO but I had to do this before more than once and one of the times I remember the most is for a guy that was a good family friend.

His gal was friends with us, too, but we knew him for much longer. She started an affair with a coworker.

I fretted and fretted and knew that my friend needed to know so I told him. He knew something was up, don't we always? So it just confirmed it for him.

The affair ended immediately...he waited around and caught them together.

Somehow he forgave her and they ended up married. Not many years later he accidentally caught her in bed with his guitar player.

Sheesh! Some people!

Well, sorry to go off on a tangent here!

I'm sure others will weigh in soon. Do you know these folks very well? I think that helped when I had to expose in the case above. It just made it easier to talk to him and tell him.

I would most definitely tell the person. I view this the same as any other crime. If my neighbor's bookkeeper was stealing his money, I would not hesitate to tell him.

I have had to do this before, and I will forewarn you that it is heartbreaking. I would suggest sending evidence so the WS doesn't deny it. I know of anonymous exposures that fell apart because the WS just denied it and the BS had no recourse at all.

Several of Wayzillas and Gollums co-workers knew conclusively of their affair several weeks to months prior to D-Day. I worked with every one of them and considered them at some level friends. No one said a word to me. I understand now that it was treated with great humor and amusement at that company.

I wish someone there would have had the courage and compassion to tell me.

I ditto what everyone else has said.

In my case i had no real idea or thought about mine until a co-worker of his that I had befriended started hinting. She really didn't want to some out & say anything directly, but she gave me enough ammo. I researched cell phone records and found way too many text messages to her cell phone. He had moved out at this time, making me think he was just "unhappy" and wanted to leave. i confronted the friend and we had a long talk. She never gave a name but from things she said I knew exactly who it was. She didn't have to. She told me enough general facts about how they have acted together (they are co-workers), etc.

From her info, I hired a PI and handed him all the info on her, he just had to catch them. That he did.

I am so very grateful to this person for telling me. I just don't understand why now she won't talk to me. I NEVER mentioned her name about telling me.

I am annoyed that so many people know and have seen first hand and even know how long it has gone on, but said nothing. Granted, they are co-workers & friends of his, but from what I hear, they are all disgusted. Guess not enough to help me out.

Oh well, I am so very grateful for that one sole that opened up.

As others said, I would make sure you have solid proof.

Good luck!

He11 YES.

Even a total stranger!!!! (I did this)

Back when I was a WS, a friend of OW exposed my affair and ended it (thank God). I have nothing but respect for this individual. To me, that was being a good friend.
I don't know what she thinks of me today? I still run into her (not OW), and we say "hi", and such.
I always felt like telling her that I respected her for exposing the affair and that I hold nothing against her.
It's been so long now, though, so I probably should just not bring it up.

There were "friends" so called who knew about my wife's affair too. They have been removed from my list of friends, aquaintences etc.

A friend would care enough to tell you.

At my last job, I worked witha guy who was a real pig. He cheated many times on his wife and bragged about his "conquests". I would see his wife come in from time to time and I really felt bad for her, but I would just walk away. I had always hoped that he got caught, but he never did. I still wonder if I should have somehow let her know the kind of husband she really had.

You don't wonder at all. You know what you should have done.

Yes, I know. I chose to just look the other way. I would try to say things to him about it, but he never took me seriously. He had a good wife and 2 kids.
This guy was really bad news.