Nothing to report . WW hasn't tried to contact me at all. It's weird but it feels better when she's trying to call. I got new tyres for the car so she will have to pay her share before I will give her back the use of it.

I see the mediation as an attempt to get me back to allowing her to come over and see DS any time I have him and to allow her to cake eat again.

I'm surprised she hasn't tried to contact me as her cousin (witch enabler) and her 3 aunts are on holidays this week. But my parents are with me so that could be the reason.

Who knows, maybe she's happy now. I will be collecting DS later and I have him until sunday. Thats going to feel pretty lonely for her but again who knows.

Why doesn't she realise that it's in DS's best interest for her to at least attempt to recover our M? This is sooooo frustrating..........

MFIL, The frustration you are feeling will eventually fade once you have accustomed yourself to Plan B. Remember she received what she thinks she wanted...her freedom from you so let her try to enjoy herself.

I used the word try because she will try very hard to convince herself that this was the right move. She will try to enjoy her new freedom. She will try to live as if she is happy. However if your plan B is very dark, she will eventually realize that she is unhappy in spite of removing the person from her life that she thought was causing her unhappiness. That reality, when it happens, will hit her right between the eyes. But it will take time for her to realize this and only if you remain dark.

My FWW kept sending me emails starting a few months into plan be to fish if I had "moved on". See until she senses you are moving on there will be no motivation for her to change. That is why I suggest you live your life as if you are moving on without dating or seeking another relationship of course. If people ask just let them know that you are doing fine and happy...that's it.

She needs to wonder what you are up to so try and avoid mutual friends or if in their presence NEVER ask about her or talk about your relationship. This is all part of Plan B. The wondering will drive her nuts.

Do everything that you didn't have a chance to do before. These actions will speak volumes to her when she slowly hears how you are doing well with your new life.

It's still very early so hang in there as you are doing well.

MFIL, Hope is right. Although I cannot imagine how you are feeling right now. Please hang in there and come here and talk or vent any old time cuz we are here for you. What have you been doing for yourself? Any cool new hobbies...?

Thanks Hope,

Please continue to drop in to lend some advice. Your story is really inspiring. Also let us know how you and FWW are doing. You are so right about her seeing me moving on - it just feels better when someone who's been there tell you! So if she starts fishing about how I feel should I ignore? How will I know when to come out of Plan B?

Thanks again for taking the time to read my thread

Simply...you just ignore her. You have clearly spelled out what you need from her in your Plan B letter. You do not want your WW back so now she must be the one to work at getting you back. Trust me, if she really wants you back (which is the only way you should agree) you will know and she will do what it takes to have you back in her life. This is difficult to see when you are immersed in the situation, but it will become clear after the fact.

When that happens let us know and we will help you through it.


There is no clear answer here, but all I can advise is to watch her actions. If she willfully agrees to your Plan B conditions that would be a start. I would not worry too much about this right now, just try to get the old you back. The rest will fall into place after that.

You are doing well.

Hello MFIL,

I see we're in the middle of the same thing.

No advice - just a message of support.

Stay dark!

P

Update:

Got home yesterday and received a solicitors letter in the mail from WW. She is going ahead and wants her share of the house. They are willing to offer me a 60/40 split in her favour and I have 14 days to respond or else they will issue legal preceedings.

Firstly, if this goes to court it could cost us both around $30-$50,000 which is not what I want. I am going to say to her sunday "I have been to the bank and all I can afford to re-mortage is $90,000. If you don't agree to that then DS will lose his home and me you and DS will end up with nothing, is that what you want.

She has chosen to ruin all our lives and now she wants 60% of everything? F**k that! If she doesn't agree to that then I will lose the house and I will fight her through the courts up until my last cent.

Why am I even still considering reconciliation???? Am I nuts?

Question for HTW and anyone else. After LSA and you paid yoor WW the equity from the house and you reconciled, did they bring the money back to the marriage with them?

I go from thinking about WW as a poor lost soul to an evil self-centered woman with no regard for the life of her own Son. Who would willingly break up a family and risk all the potential damage and pain to DS unless they were in a violent or abusive situation??? Are we all mad here still chasing after these vile creatures?

I am thinking that same thing today SO much. It is strange that I would even miss one hair on my WH's head after going through this.

Free

Thoughts on how to proceed with threatened court action over house please? I think I just need to get on with things now and I really feel if anything is going to wake WW up then its to give her exactly what she thinks she wants......

Stay calm and talk to your attorney. You could counter- offer a 50/50 split.

And in answer to your other question, no they don't bring the money back to the marriage. They usually blow it.

Well if WW came back cause she had blown all the money then I would just show her the door!

Get a bulldog attorney. Protect yourself immediately. Go after as much as you can, and do not discuss it with her even for a second. Do not offer her anything...let your L do it for you...that's why they make the big bucks! Make it very clear to your L that you are not interested in a D right now (if that is still how you feel) and exactly what lead to the demise of the family. You should also go after custody. Make sure there is something in your agreement that keeps OM away from your son until the D is final. After that, you don't really have a say in the matter, unfortunately.

Repeat after me...BULLDOG ATTORNEY...BULLDOG ATTORNEY...BULLDOG ATTORNEY...

And if you already have one that isn't a bulldog, change lawyers. Tell him/her to drag this out as long as possible.

I am so sorry MFIL...stick to your guns. You need to go completely dark now...completely.

I spoke to a L they are good but under the law here she is entitled to about 57%. It sucks I know but thats it. He already advised if I could get a 50/50 split take it.

She may agree and if not then I'll lose the house anyway and if thats the case I'll make sure she walks away with not much either - we'll just give it all to the lawyers....

Also can't get divorced until july

I would offer her 50/50 through your attorney. All she can do is say no. And if she thinks she is in such a hurry for a divorce, maybe she will agree.

Hang in there. It is far from over.

I'd still be inclined to delay Vladie - and I do a potential breakdown to show her she won't get much and she will be putting her son out of his home if she presses it. I would tell her via email. I'd also tell her again she owes your for the car repairs.

Her reaction wasn't unexpected.

Hi Vladie...I hope you're coping down there!

My WS doesn't seem nearly as hostile as yours right now, but time will tell..

Protect yourself, and your son.....and like you and others, I'm beginning to wonder if I really would take her back after all the ****** she's put me through!

Look after yourself,

Ron

Thanks Guys,

I think its best if I offer her this myself rather than via her L as they will try and talk her out of it. Problem is she is basing house value at $350,000. (No valuation has been done) but the actual value is closer to $400,000. So even at 50% of that would be far greater than what I can afford to re-mortgage. Bloody house prices, I wish it was worth less than what we paid for it! So really my goal here is to save my home for me and DS. M will have to take a back seat. If she agrees to that (and she should she's the one ruining our family and in my book should get NOTHING) it is the best for me. I don't want to waste any more money dragging this out. I need to protect myself now as per Plan B.

BigK: She has told me I can keep the car. I don't know if that meant until I got the tyres or not. I will find out at the drop off. But she isn't getting the use of it until she pays.

How much do you owe on the house Vladie?

$150,000