Well its nearly 3 weeks since I last posted. No good news to report unfortunately only more bad.

I've just come back from agreat holiday with my parents and DS in Monkey Mia Western Australia. What a beautiful place. I will start a few days before we left. WW had no problem at first with me taking DS with me. I asked for his passport (she had removed it from our house previously without my consent) as you need photo ID for internal flights. I had to speak to her briefly to arrange this on the phone and again she was very upset. Silent and crying. Again I felt like saying comforting her but didn't. She asked for my itinery and I agreed. On saturday I asked her for the passport and she refused saying she would give it on wednesday when I picked up DS.

In the meantime I heard from a friend that she was very low about things and the friend told me that the biggest problem is her cousin (witch enabler). WW actually said to the friend "If I did go back to Vladie, what would I tell my cousin"? Can you imagine that? In saying that WW is no fool and has a mind of her own. Anyway on wed I got a text from WW saying DS would be ready at 6pm. I always pick him up at 5 but I let it pass. Then she tells me the road is flooded and she can't get into her unit. I told her you can if you come from the back and she agreed that I would pick her and DS up (they were at her cousin's house who had taken the day off work to console WW through the tramatic day) Not Plan B I know but I din't want any problems at the last minute with bringing DS on holiday.

On my way up she texts me saying she was having dinner now so her cousin would drop her later. I knew there would be some hassle. Her cousin wanted to be there for the exchange to support her and make sure I didn't get the passport as I found out later. I was fuming at this stage. So I called WW and told her that I did not want 'that witch' there when I picked up DS. Then her cousin's husband (who supports my stand) came down and told me to lay off his W and he wouldn't tell me again. I admit I did call her a f**king witch. My Dad told him his WW was interfering and he replied 'not anymore'.

At this point I was thinking great WW is turning everyone against me now. She finally texted me say they were home. I drove over and she had her cousin's BF there with her (another woman she hated all along but is useful to her now). I did not go in and called WW and told her if the woman was not gone in half an hour I was coming back with the police. Then I get a call on WW's phone for the woman telling me that I am very scary! I told her it had nothing to do with her and if she didn't leave I was coming back with the police and hung up.

Got home again fuming. Told my Dad to come with me. Drove back there and woman was leaving. Getting DS and his clothes and I asked WW for the passport. She refused saying she checked all the airlines and said I didn't need it. I told her that was beside the point and had we both been travelling we would have it. Again she refused so I said OK I will be back with the police. Called to my Dad who was outdside told him no passport so we're going to police.

He asked WW what the problem is and offered her his passport as security (funny WW seemed to think I was going to steal DS out of the country). DS is in the back crying at this stage and WW is accusing my Dad of bulying her and she's saying look what you're doing to DS. My Dad told her she was doing this. She then tried to remove DS from his car seat. It was all very traumatic. Ds was histerical. If only WW would stop playing the victim with all these idiot people around her insisting on making sure she's ok, we could of had a pleasant exchange as normal. It makes me sick.

Got home anyway and DS was fine thand God. Then her cousin's husband comes down again talking about the disasterous exchange saying both me and WW messed it up and why was I bringing police etc. I said it could have been easy as always if she would stop involving other people. He was obviously sent by WW and the witch. He is completely dominated by his W as she dominates everyone else in her life including WW. WW hated her up until DS was born then she was handy for help with him during the day as she was a homemaker at that time.

He's trying to tell my if I continue on this path I will lose custody and bull like that. I know the law in that regard. Then he pulls out $500 and says its from WW and she wants the car. I said sorry no way. Then WW texts me while he is still there asking could we meet just the two of us. Then she texte again with please. I just ignore these. I am being bullied into being very friendly with WW and I need to 'get over the fact that M is over'. Thursday morn we head off for a great holiday.

More to come. Thoughts???

bump for a reply or two

Welcome back, Vladie! I am glad that after all that mess you did have a great trip. Stuff like this makes my blood boil. What drama for a young child to witness!

You need to go dark again, Vladie...ignore all these "intruders" of hers in your life. It is working, if you'll let it!

Thanks for stopping by Lala. Holiday was great DS had the best time ever. WW was demanding that she speak to him every night while away. He's only 2! So I called and let him speak every 3 days but he didn't speak most of the time and neither did I. Then one day she calls our hotel and just says 'I want to talk to DS'. Unbelieveble.

While away I got him trained so no more nappies. Of course that will be twisted to me and my parents trying to make out she's a bad mother for not doing it. So we get back and I drop him to WW at the cousin's house, WW stayed there the whole time we were away. Then I heard through another friend that WW told them she had been to the police over the incident she caused when I was collecting DS. I highly doubt this, I think she is trying to use friend to leak false info to me to get me to react. Pathetic I know. And apparently her cousin's husband told her that she was better off without me too. Who knows if that's true or not and I don't want to let WW find out that griend told me.

I went to a mediation appointment yesterday regarding DS. It was only me there as each must give their story first before the mediation. I found it worth while and I presented all the facts. Mediator said she was the voice of DS. Went ok as I'm sure WW left out details of her A.

Also spoke to my solicitor and have made an offer to WW regarding property settlement. I need to get all the legal stuff sorted now and back to a dark Plan B.

Hey Vladie.........glad to hear from you again, although your story isn't so great...

It really is a case right now of your WS being manipulated/influenced by a score of other people. You have, unfortunately, a BEEEEEATCH of a wife to deal with.. if you haven't, circle your wagons, and have absolutely nothing to do with her. Every encounter you have with her is poison, and eliminating her from your existene is vital for you..........Get rid of her, the cousin, and all of the other scum she has surrounding her.


It's imperative that you look after yourself and your son..She is beyond your control, influence and concern. She's pulling this crap...........keep her away from you...and all of her minions as well.

Good luck!

Ron

Hi Ron thanks for the support.

Just got a text from WW asking to meet me later when DS is asleep to discuss situation. I don't think its about reconciliation just about handling DS. I think I might go and record the conversation. Thoughts?

My WW has called me, asking for a "discussion" as well....if you look at my thread, you'll get a summary of what she has going throught her head, but basically, I think she's going to say that's it..

And thaaaaaaaaaats fine with me.

I've done all I can, I'm sure, just like you.

I have messed things up again. I went to meet WW last wed and have been afraid to update cause I know I shouldn't have gone. It was a total waste of time. She wanted to talk about how to handle DS as its most important that he will be ok. We discussed the drama of the previous wed and we both agreed that would not happen again. Although she refused to accept resbonsibility for it.Surprise surprise

Bottom line is that she doesn't want to be married. She is not having an A. She has no idea where OM is or what he is doing. Its not about him. She has changed completely in the last year and I don't know her anymore. She blames my parents for our marriage being over. When I asked her how she feels about OM she just says she's not going to discuss that with me. She is adamant that he made his choice returning home and that is that. Could she really be telling the truth? Is she really happy to be seeing a man who is living with his wife? What am I to think?

She knows we would never work and even if she got back to being happy, she knows that I wouldn't be after all thats happened. Its amazing that she will say that OM was not the reason we broke up but he is the reason we will never work. Later she denied saying she could ever be happy and just doesn't want to try.

Is it possible for the A to be over and she just still doesn't want to be married anymore? These questions are driving me mad. I just wish I knew why she is so intent on ruining or lives.

I have drawn up the seperation regarding me buying her out of the house so I will see if she accepts the offer it works out 50/50 split. Also solicitor sent proposal regarding DS just legalising current arrangement and provides for travel etc so she can't object or withhold passport again. And says that we split all school holidays etc. But I will be surprised if she signs it. She wants everything her way.

So thats it I felt completely rejected after that conversation and I let her know that I still wanted her. Bet that gave her a nice ego boost. I am such an idiot!
Please help me understand by answering my questions above.

Thank you

Anyone please? I need some insight. How often is A over and WS still won't try an recover the M? If so why?

Vladie, just two words for ya, buddy...

FOG BABBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why do you do this to yourself...seriously? Thing is, you KNOW what we are going to say-- shouldn't have met up with her- just made you feel worse- everything must be worked out between lawyers and solicitors and what not, anyways...so tell me again, WHY ARE YOU COMMUNICATING WITH HER WHEN YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE IN PLAN B?

I am sorry you are hurting. Plan B is designed to stop the pain and suffering of the BS. Will you (can you) trust that fact?

I don't know why I do it. Do you think the A is still active? Or do A's make you realise that you need to divirce? She says the A made her realise how unhappy she was and that even though its over she is happier on her own? Thats the hardest part is the lies and uncertaintly. I sometimes think it would be easier if she were living with OM at least then I'd know the reason.

Right outa the script book...said it word for word myself.


What would be easier is if you went into Plan B and STAYED there. Then you wouldn't have to WORRY about it at ALL!!

Hi Vladie,
I don't think I've ever posted to you before, but I feel your pain. My WW said the same thing. When her A was over, she told me she didn't want to reconcile, but of course it had nothing to do with OM. Then a few days later, I found out she called him to say that she missed him. Like LaLa said, it's all fog.

The OM went back to his family and instead of coming back to me, my WW started dating someone else and that lasted about 2 months before she figured out he wasn't the answer. Unfortunately, I stuck around like an idiot trying to plan A her and got myself in really bad spot. It's a long horrible story, so I'll spare you the details.

But she recently told me that she didn't think I wanted to reconcile because I had too much resentment. It's funny how they know what we want and how we feel as BSs. I've spent the last few months practically killing myself and becoming her doormat because I DON'T want her back??

I think the bottom line is... they're just screwed up in the head.

amen to that......

Hey - I don't have a lot of time since I have to leave but I just wanted to say I feel for you. I saw your post on another thread.

I don't have all the answers but I noticed one thing about my XW. When I threw up my hands and told her I had enough I was not her friend and I would not put up with her anymore and I was moving on something changed in her.

I did not plan "A" but I was a pretty decent husband to her. The strange thing was as soon as I filed on her and told her I could not wait to end us she did an about face.

I don't know if it would work for everyone but I just don't see what good it does to allow people to treat you like this.