What If?

If there never was pain and heartache in our lives, we'd never experience the joy of answered prayer, the strength of faith tested, and feeling God closer than our next breath.

If only that tragic day had not happened, I would be blissfully ignorant of this thing called, "an affair." But what would my life be like? Less painful, yes, but neither would I have experienced:

* The blanket of God's peace floating quietly and softly over my soul during the many nights of despair when it would have been easier to die. God tenderly whispered, "Trust me."

* The days when I was tired of trusting and needed a tangible sign that He loved me and indeed was trustworthy. I asked for a blue jay and down he flew, sat on the bird bath and chirped in reprimand: "If God sees the sparrows that fall, He surely will take care of you."

* The humbleness of admitting to each other our own faults and failures. The peace that comes when the secrets are slain and complete honesty rules.

* The strength of determination that this marriage will make it, made possible by our newly acquired knowledge and tools.

* The feeling of two souls knit together, accomplished by the sharing of pain, much hard work, but above all, God's faithfulness to two obedient souls.

* The thrill of once again feeling my heart beating faster at the thought of my beloved coing home.

* The joy of a lost love discovered all over again.

* The realization, that in the end, all that really matters is God.