She sat there on our bed reading it and was completely emotionless. She said that none of my statements were new or shocking, she figured as much all along. She expected I wanted her to leave right at that moment (9:30pm) I told her "no, but she should start making plans to". She still insists on staying under the same roof until after the child is born. I told her we could discuss things at a better time. I offered to move into the spare room, she asked me not to just yet. She suggested that we both just sit down soon and figure out how best to go about all this so as to limit the impact on our son. She also insisted that no matter what I choose to think, she has never contacted OM since she's been up here with me. But she did say that depending on if she can make ends meet when she's on her own will determine if she gets back with OM or not. At that point she can do as she pleases. That was it, we both got ready for bed, she curled up and snuggled to me and held me tight till she fell asleep. That hadn't happened in a long, long time.<P>I finally feel at peace for a bit. Now I just need to follow through. Everything will work out for the better, I'm sure.

Blues...<P>I believe this is the 1st time I've replied to your Post. I'm so sorry that your marriage has ended this way. What a traumatic 2 years it has been for you. I wish it would have been a happier ending. I'm glad that you are able to move on and content with your decision. I wish you the best of luck to you and your son.

Thanks NT.<P>I also wished things had worked out better. But one can only battle for so long for something that's just too far out of reach. When it comes time to throw in the towel, you must do so and look forward to the next. As sad as it might be that I'm ending a relationship with someone I was truely in love with, a one way relationship can't last forever. I'm sure I will find a woman out there that will love me for me and as much as I love her. Good things come to those who wait right? Consider me waiting..............<P>

<BR>Blues,<P>I am delurking to post this message to you. I have been following your saga with utter fascination for literally months. I'm sorry that your marriage is ending - rest assured that in my view, you have gone to absolutely superhuman lengths to preserve it. I know for certain that were I in your shoes, I would have thrown in the towel long ago.<P>But there is another reason I'm delurking. I want to urge you in no uncertain terms to seek legal assistance regarding the paternity of your wife's child. Many states, if not all states, have "assumed paternity" laws that automatically assign you paternity. Even if the child is not biologically yours, you can be hit with a child support judgment. And even allowing your wife to stay in the same house could possibly be construed as evidence of an intention to claim paternity. I cannot stress this enough: seek legal assistance to absolutely prevent your wife from suing you for child support. Its painful to think that she would stoop to such tactics, but if she is going to be financially unstable, it may become tempting for her to do so. And once a judgment of child support is awarded, you'll be paying for the next twenty years - even DNA evidence may be disregarded once a judgment is entered. PLEASE seek legal assistance!<P>Btw, feel free to email me if you like, dis_interested@hotmail.com<P>Bystander<BR>

Bs'er....... <BR>I'm sorry, that's the funniest abbreviation I thought up right off the bat... <P>Yes, I agree, most states will presume paternity of a child born into a marriage. We are going to have a paternity test done at birth to prove I'm not the father and at the same time she's going to get a court order to get OM to take test to prove he is the father. She agrees that I should not be required to support a child that is not mine. That was even the agreement if we had worked things out. But yes, I am taking measures. This w/e (the w/e of our 8th anniversary) we are going to sit down and write up papers showing who is responsible for what and what the living arrangements are going to be and why. Once that's all agreed upon, we're going to have it notarized and then after we have proven them as livable terms for each of us, we will have it made a legal seperation, then divource.

Good luck Blues. Been following yours for some time and it has been a frustrating road for you. I'm sure it took everything you had. I hope that the future offsets it.