Oh my God, I can not believe what just happened, what I just did. My mind is a jumbled mess and I don't even feel like I am inside of my body right now...this has to be a movie I am watching, some sick and perverse tragedy that I am starring in. This cannot be real!!

My mom is dying from terminal cancer...I have been taking care of her, but she is too far gone for me to continue. This week I had to put her into Hospice care. She is not expected to make it through the weekend.

The last few months of watching my mother slowly die have been agonizing. My husband has been very supportive and very tender in his caretaking of me. Unfortunately, he has been travelling very frequently, and it has been hard on me. He was in tune enough to recognize my mental distress over my situation and put me in touch with a grief counselor, someone he has known since college.

I started seeing the grief counselor five weeks ago. It has helped somewhat, and I have looked forward to my sessions. I have been going once or twice a week. It has helped me to sort out my feelings and to come to terms with the impending loss of my mother.

At my session today, I became overwhelmed with emotion and started crying on the couch. He sat next to me and rubbed my arm, then put his arms around me in an embrace. He whispered in my ear to be strong, that I was doing everything right, that I was a good daughter to my mother and an amazing person. Then he kissed me!!

He kissed me, and I KISSED HIM BACK!! He began to rub my back and stroke my arms and I melted into him. He started to push me down onto the couch and I got scared and started sobbing. I grabbed my purse and coat and ran as fast as I could out the door.

I am home now, and shaking so badly I can hardly write this post.

I am so confused...my mind is a mess. He kissed me and I liked it!! I wanted more! What kind of sick person am I?? I think I have feelings for him. Something must be very wrong with me. What am I going to tell my husband? This is insanity!! I think I am going to throw up.

My phone keeps ringing and it is HIM. I can't answer it. I don't know what to say.

I am so confused right now.

NA

He took advantage of you and is the most despicable type of person on this planet. DON'T EVER SEE OR CONTACT HIM AGAIN.

After you have calmed down, we can talk about how you resolve this with your devoted husband.

I don't know if I believe you cheated, I tend to think more that you were taken advantage of in a very vulnerable moment. The fact that you responded and think you have feelings for this man is very concerning, but I believe the most important thing is that you left the situation before it escalated.

You need to tell you husband, and I would begin to investigate reporting this incident to whatever governing body presides over therapists/counselors whatever.

He is totally taking advantage of you and he probably has done it before with other women who are his "patients" or "clients." Don't take his calls. Don't talk to him. Call the police if he shows up at your place.

BA

But, how do I resolve this with my husband? How do I tell him what I did?

He trusted me!! What is wrong with me? I must truly be a horrible person. I did not even slap this man who kissed me!! I kissed him back!! And I sit here right now with feelings of fondness for him in my heart!!

My poor husband did not deserve this! My mom is dying and now this?? How am I supposed to handle this? I think I love another man!

You need to calm down and breathe.

I agree with Tyk's take here.

He does need to be reported to all the appropriate authorities soon.

How did you find MB so quickly?

This statement is very problematic! You need NOT be in contact in any manner or under any circumstances with this man. You need to come clean with your H and most likely, he would understand due to the trauma you're experiencing and the type of relationship and power this man has over you.

Because you said you "love" this man, I think you need to come clean to your H about what happened asap.

BA.

I believe if you think about it you will realize that you do not love him at all. You may be attracted to him, you may like things about him, but that isn't love. You do know enough to know that what happened was wrong, not only for you, but for him as well.

Think about how many other vulnerable women this guy may have assaulted in his professional capacity. Not only that, but he's a "friend" of your husbands! Is that the type of person you respect? Someone who deliberate takes advantage of someone in a vulnerable emotional state? Someone who would engage in infidelity with a friend's wife?!

I agree with the others on here, you were taken advantage of..and I would diffinately report this guy. Also do you think your feelings of "love" can be the fact that you are going through a hard time and your mom is dying? I mean just a thought. I am sorry your going through all this.

And you can bet your [censored] that he's calling because he's realized that his plans for seduction just went very awry and he realizes the trouble he could be getting into should you choose to A) Tell your H and/or B) Tell whoever it is with authority over him and/or his professional license.

No doubt he'll tell you about how he's never ever done that before and how you were so special and significant to him and how he couldn't resist YOU blah blah blah.

He's a predator. You better believe it.

You have a supportive H. Expect him t/b upset but you owe it to him as part of POJA and RH. Go read the book His Needs/Hew Needs (by Harley). Then go find a real grief counselor.

Tell him exactly as it happened. Expect the grief counselor to deny it. Together make a report about this counselor but ask that your H stay away from his former friend. In fact, you both should go to an MC to work through this matter.

Based on what you wrote, you were taken at a vulnerable time. While he made the 1st move still there was some response. Ok, that is wrong but you ended it by leaving. That is good. Now keep moving forward in a safe and legal manner.

JMHO,
L.

I did a yahoo search on infidelity and MarriageBuilders was on the first page. It said there was a step-by-step guide for recovering from infidelity, but I haven't seen that yet.

I don't trust what I am feeling right now. I have to be going crazy. There is no other explanation for the warring thoughts within my head.

I have looked forward to seeing this counselor, and I have liked him. But now it seems like so much more.

My husband is not due home for three more days. I am very scared of what I might do in his absence.

NA, pick up the phone can call your H RIGHT NOW and tell him. Don't answer the phone calls from the OM. Do what it takes to END THIS THING before it gets worse.

You are NOT a sick person. You are an upset person who has just seriously violated her own conscience. This can GET WORSE if you don't stop it now.

But first things first, call your H NOW and then put the OM on ignore.

Even if it was your fault, and it certainly doesn't seem to be, he is a professional that is supposed to help people with problems, not create more. He clearly took advantage of you in a time of despair. Call the cops. Report him. It may be the one blemish he needs on his record to lose his license. I wold bet the farm he has done this before.

Not to make light of the situation but this sounds like a Law and Order episode, and you know how those turn out.

I just called my husband and told him he needed to come home ASAP. He is a five hour drive away and he is coming home tonight.

I am getting my kids and leaving for my cousin's house right now. My counselor knows where we live and I don't want him coming by to see me.

I told my husband to pick me up there...I didn't give him any explanation other than that I was having some emotional problems.

I hope he can forgive me for what I have done.

This is critical. Do it now.

Call your H back right now and TELL HIM, NA.

This is all good but call your H now and tell him.

Do not take any calls from the OM.

NoAngel, you need to tell your H the truth before he gets the story from this man. Your H might be contacting him to find out what you're going through and with the other man talking to your H first would not put you in a good position.

BA

Call the state licensing board. IMHO, this is an asault and should be treated as such. At a minimum, he needs to have his license suspended or revoked.

Be honest with your H.
The comment about you loving another man has me VERY concerned though. You also say your H has known this guy since college. Are they friends? Did you ever socialize with him prior to this incident?