Hi I am new to this. I have been married for almost 3 years to who I thought was the best friend I could of ever found. I was a single mom with a great job, so when he proposed it wasn't that I was looking for someone to help me with finances or my daughter. We met and everything was great - had a world-wind romance and got married right before he was to be deployed for the 1st time. Before he deployed he adopted my daughter - so she is his now. As far as I knew things have been going great, I got suspicious before he deployed last year when a friend of mine told me she saw his profile on yahoo personals. I questioned him about it and he told me it was a joke - he had on there a photo of his very very ugly halloween outfit. So I took it as a joke, I mean I knew how ugly the picture was that he posted. He deleted the personal in front of me. After he was deployed, a friend again told me she saw a profile of him on yahoo. I questioned him about
it and he told me he didn't do it. A couple of days later he told me that one of his fellow soldiers did it because he had not logged out of yahoo - he did it as a joke telling him to make sure he logs off. Well I thought ok knowing the person who did it - it could happen.

He has given me his passwords to his emails. I have gone in and checked them. I found one from a yahoo group with the title "married but looking". To my surprise my husband is listed on there as a member of the group. He signed up in November. I have seen emails he has sent to at least 2 other women asking for naked photos.

I stay at home, which he likes, so I can juggle his schedule and our childs schedule. I take care of all the bills, finances and everything. I do not have any real friends here due to the women I do know have husbands who have admitted to cheating on them and he just blasts them for staying with their husbands. He is a good man to me and my daughter. He is caring, giving and is emotionally there for me. Anything I want to do he tells me to to it, he's behind me.

I just don't understand while 1) he is asking other women for photos and 2) why is he on a website that is for married but looking?????

I do everything for him. Anything he asks. I have my schedule to fit when I know he will be online or he will call me so we can have some time together. He is now asking for me to start looking for us a house. Anytime I tell him about one of my friends having issues with a person who cheats or having issues - he says that it's good he and I can trust each other. We have both been cheated on before (not by each other)!!!! He is always telling me how much he loves me and how much he appreciates all I do for him.

Any advise anyone can give me would be great -- i am so confused and dazed right now I don't know what to do.

I just got up, so I'm not clear-headed enough to advise you, but I can tell you that it sounds to me like your H is gaslighting you to allay your suspiscions.

Weekends are slow around here, but please be patient, and someone will help you.

If not, I'll be on later and will check on you.

C&D,

Welcome to MB. It's sad to see you here, but you are in such a good and safe place. There are so many people on here who will be along to help you answer some of your questions, help you create a plan of what to do, as well as figure out what you want and need to do.

It's the weekend and most people aren't here so the board is slow. Be patient, know you are not alone and read up on as much on this site that you can.

There is so much resource here it will keep your mind occupied for SO LONG. I would encourage you to read many of the various threads and posts. It helped me in the beginning to not feel alone and to help identify that what I was feeling wasn't this or that.

Please know you are cared about on here and you will be ok.

Queenie