Last night my fwh and I were at the grocery store. This female who is wearing a VERY short practically see through outfit is walking on the other side of the bakery ahead of us. She then walks right in front of us in the isle we were on. As we were getting our stuff I notice that he is smirking, I didn't say anything thinking it would just pass, well he continued to smirk. I asked him why he was smirking and he said he wasn't I said yes you are, he said sorry I'm not meaning anything by it. I said well you smirked as soon as that woman walked past us.He said it has nothing to do with anything and apologized,he then said I thought maybe that's why you started walking faster then I saw you look at me. We have had issues with him smirking, and it is a suspicious behaviour to me sometimes. Shortly after I found out about his infidelity we went to marriage counseling, his smirking was discussed. He said it was his defense to uncomfortable situations or if he is uncomfortable in a conflict, kind of like a oh great I don't want to discuss this, he said some people respond with anger, or quietness his is with smirking. I can see that explanation sometimes such as with our kids and with me on occassions for instance whenever he asks the kids to do something he always asks them with a smirk because he knows they aren't going to like it, they instantly think he's up to something. Does that explanation make sense of the counselor, it made me upset when he smirked because it does make him look suspicious. I don't know if he was looking at her because he was behind me. I know he'll see attractive people and all don't get me wrong, but why smirk when someone already has trust issues. He has done this for years, & I know that its not always suspicious I guess I think it's all susupicious now because of my trust issues and other times he does it such as with the kids there is nothing suspicious. I just wish he can control it, to not make me feel uncomfortable. He can't control it sometimes. He says he tries and can't and once it starts it's hard to stop. I just don't get it

Did I read correctly that your husband's affair was 16 years ago?

How has he acted (other than the smirking) since then? Has he been trustworthy and a good husband?

What if he smirked because he found what she was wearing to be distasteful?

I guess I am having a hard time deciding what meaning of "smirk" was there.

to smile in an affected, smug, or offensively familiar way.

a smile expressing smugness or scorn instead of pleasure

What was he thinking might have been the better question. What went through his mind?

My Dad was in the Piggly Wiggly with my Mother one day. A young girl walked down the aisle in a manner of "undress" that could have been distressing to anyone who happened to see it. He looked...he looked because it was something so utterly shocking that he was having a hard time diverting his glance. He was slack jawed but didn't think fast enough to STOP looking.

My Mom noticed him and just looked at him very questioning. He told her that he would explain when they got to the car because he didn't want to be in that store any longer than necessary.

I had stayed in the vehicle waiting for them and he was talking and explaining a mile a minute when they were getting in the car. It was just so shocking to him...that's why he looked, and kept checking to see if he was seeing what he thought he was seeing. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" /> Mom told him to check with her next time and she would let him know if he saw what he thought he had seen. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> There was no need to keep looking if he would simply ask her....lol.

So, you see it could have been something that took him so utterly off guard and he smirked because it looked trashy and he had nothing but scorn for it.

You'd be better off just asking what he was thinking other than why he was smirking. Semantics I know...but sometimes phrasing it differently helps.

JMHO
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