sorry a bit long. first time posting but have been reading around and think you guys might shed some light into this.l will try to be short.married 2004. a year later my husband suddenly had a change of heart and moves out.his reasons being lam not happy and l need time out, no argument or anything.anyways, l talked him into working things out and he came back.all was peferct and well until dec 2005.
l had a miscarriage in october.lt was a hard time for us but l did notice when l was pregnant he wasnt that excited to begin with and it was his idea to start a familly.we seem to be supportin each other through all this.ln dec he asked me if we can go out and eat out.l was very relieved coz l was worried that he might not deal with it well.l guess l was completely wrong.one note, we dated for 4 yrs b4 marriage and had ups and downs but he had never sat me down to tell me like this ''l dont feel anymore love for you and lam not sure l did. u dont make my heart jump when l see u but l like u and l cant help how l feel.'' he went on mentioning that he doesnt have the love like for example how his bro misses his wife and stuff.he feels that lf l walk away right now he wont feel any lose.l was shocked, beyond shocked l couldnt even say a word then.l left and had the day to myself and to think. l did not beg him this time, he also told me he wants to try but he thought l should know how he feels.l wrote hime a letter telling him that this has been a shock to me but lam willing to give it a try also and see how we can get the love to survive in this marriage.fine so l thought! l suggested we take a trip and have time to relax since we both work a lot.the day b4 he bail out saying he couldnt get anybody to take his shift and that l shoul go and not waste the ticket and visit my sister.he encouraged me and drove me to the airport and kissed me goodbye and told me he will miss me.l came back 2days later to a half empty house.apparently he moved out while l was gone.took evrything that belonged to him,clean the place and left the keys. he basically ran away.l was devasted and l have never been so heart broken in my life. so much pain.lt will be 1 yr next week and we have maintained some kind of friendship and l do depend on him for a ride to work from time to time.nothing beyond friendship though he has made advances without willing to be with me.lam afraid to ask were we are going from here, lam afraid of his answer. see, l am still in love with him.but if l let him come back, the cycle might just go around again.l want him to be the one saying he wants to or not but so far he hasnt given me a clue.where do l go from here?should l just let him be.

Babyblue, I feel for you. Ask yourself this - why fight to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you?

You seem like one with a good heart. In my many years, I have found that to be what is more important than anything else.

Forget about someone who can so casually toss you aside. Spend some valuable time alone, discover yourself, and let good things happen for you.

Good luck.

thanks SYF for your response.lam now at this crossroad where l have taken sometime to myself .upgraded to a good job, live alone, l travel when l want to and lam preety independent.
the thing is , its been a year trying to get over all this and lam still wondering if lam just easily giving up.l know for certain if l ask him right now he will say yes but what about in the future?
lam just caught up on the fence to decide where l want to jump. we will have to file for divorce at some point and
l want to make sure l jump to the right side and l wont regret it.

Sounds like you have made a wonderful start. See, you don't need him!

Well, I am very logical, and have found it sometimes helps to put the "pros" and "cons" of certain decisions down on paper. I just start writing, whether the item seems important or not at first. It helps to have it down on paper in front of me instaed of just floating around in my head.

I used this method to decide whether to take back a woman who had "done me wrong." It made it very clear why I had chosen to stay with her before, and made the correct decision, leaving her, even more clear.

Good luck in your search for your own personal truth.

apparently he wants to work it out,but lam very hesitant to.l have been through a lot with this man.good and bad.

the only problem is if something is bothering him,he doesnt talk about it and u will never guess something is wrong until he decides to give up.
l told him if he really wants to do this he has to go counselling and see from there what makes him just pack and go when we hit a bumpy road.

l dont know..l had worked a lot on myself and thought l <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />moved on but it seems l still love him to even consider it.
any honest opinion is appreciated