I have a question for an acquaintance. She has discovered evidence of her DH cheating on her with a man.

I'm not aware of anything in the marriagebuilders plan for this type of situation... any ideas???

divorce.

AIDS testing.

My guess is that the same principles may work since it is still an addiction (maybe even more so) BUT now the concern about AIDS is so increased that may affect the decision of whether or not your friend would want to reconcile?

And I guess exposing that sort of adultery would maybe have more impact on the adulterers than the more typical adultery?

My best guess is that a marriage where there was same gender infedility is unsavageable. There are certain ENs that couldn't be filled, like SF.

So yeah, divorce and AIDS testing would be my main recommendations as well. Just wanted to make sure.

Is anyone aware of any sort of online support for this kind of situation???

We have had cases here of women having lesbian affairs who have remained married. Then there was a lesbian couple where one of the couple had an affair with a man. They didn't reconcile. The other partner eventually got together with a man too.

The one person I recall whose husband had an interest in homosexual affairs did remained married; if I remember correctly. But their marriage never seemed great after that. They have lots of children together.

I think that either way the situation should be treated as any adultery/affair. When the WS is breaking their vows with whatever sex...it is still adultery. I don't believe that once people experience same sex relationships they can't go back to being faithful to their spouse should they recover from an affair. The same fog and addiction symptoms are probably present.

There are lots of people who can go both ways...and don't need to be pigeon holed one way or the other. But when they chose to be married then they should honor their commitment.

Of course, as the others mentioned, there is the concern regarding aids. If you were to recover your marriage abstinence during the testing period would be the safest course of action.

I think it would make a difference if there are children involved as to whether it is worth trying to save such a marriage.

The pain and anguish will be the same for the BS as with any adultery.

I agree with Trix, it really is no different than "standard" adultery. Although I would conceed that should the WS believe that homosexual sex is a true "EN" of thiers and is unwilling to accept life without that need being met then divorce really is the only option. In order to really find that out though, the same steps apply. First the A must end, because typical of all WS, the WS involved in a same sex A will claim that it is something the "need" and a "part of who they are that can't be denied" etc. So in order to find out where the M really stands, the A has to be ended and the WS must be through the fog etc.

I have a close friend who's W left him for another woman. They are getting divorced but I would say that the lesbian issue is the least of thier problems.

I would be surprised that many women would want back their WH after he was getting his knees met (yes, the spelling was intentional)by another man.

Just for further info, the couple have been married since September 2007 and have known each other for 4 years. They have no kids.

If it were me, it would be a deal breaker and I could never get past my H having a same sex A.

I don,t know what the woman is planning on doing, she's in total shock and denial. H denied the affair and was extremely angry when he was discovered, all in all classic behavior for a WS.

Divorce and HIV testing looks better and better.