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Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 5
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 5 |
Please if anybody can give me some advice. My wife has been dwelling on past arguments and says she is still hurting and unhappy. Our arguments started cause i wanted more undevided attention. She always ignores me and her friend is now everything she doesnt talk to me anymore and totally ignores me. She told me she is moving out and going on her own she has been making plans to move out soon. I suggested Marriage counsoling but she doesnt want to know anything she says she will never feel the same and nothing will make her change her mind. I do love her with all my heart i am sick every morning because i wake up with the thought she is going. Please please please what can i say to make her stay and try?
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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 11,245
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Member
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 11,245 |
Sounds like an affair. Have you looked into that? It has different steps than just for conflict.
At any rate, at least start reading here about Love Busters, and work on that first. Then read about Love Bank and Emotional Needs, and see what you can do to change her opinion of you. Even if she's having an affair, you will become a better person by following the material here, and you may start looking more attractive.
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Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 5
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 5 |
I dont know where she will get time. She is always around other than going to work. she is currently obssesed with her female friend. I just dont know what to say to her she says she doesnt love me like a wife should love a husband and that all the past arguments is still stuck in her head!
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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 11,245
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Member
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 11,245 |
So maybe the female friend is the affair?
Regarding time, we have a poster who has a daughter with problems; he swore she couldn't be taking drugs because she had no time - went only to school and back. She ended up in a drug overdose - at school. Please don't use time to keep yourself from looking. People who want something will find the time.
So how are you doing on following the principles here? Have you learned all your Love Busting patterns and stopped them? Have you found and met all her Emotional Needs? Have you asked her to fill out the LB questionnaire? Lots of work you can be doing here to improve things.
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Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 5
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 5 |
How do i get her to fill in one of those when she is not intrested in resolving our marriage at all. Thats what i need help with!
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Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 5
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 5 |
I think She might be in love with the female friend but i dont think its just an affair yet. The other woman has a fiance and they are a happy couple!
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Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 2,457
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Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 2,457 |
If all else fails I would seriously think of talking to the fiance. He should know what is going on and he will have the influence to get his girlfriend to end the friendship. If your wife is in love with this other woman you must stop it as quickly as you can and this is a way to do it. Talk to the fiance as soon as possible.
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Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 62
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Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 62 |
I am in a similar situation, My W doesn't love my like that anymore. SHe is now willing to work on it, but it took some time to show her that I wanted to change. I think there is guilt involved on her part. She feels guilty for not loving you like she thinks you should be loved. I have been guilty of not treating my W like the treasure that she is. I treated her like I didn't need her, she felt like she had nothing to offer me, and felt de-valued. I would try to talk to her with that in mind, tell her that it's ok if she doesn't love you like that, that you CAN find it again. I will be praying for you.
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