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#2011467 01/17/08 12:39 PM
Joined: Oct 2001
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Will someone who remembers my HORROR stories about my ex's mother, please email me privately. I posted as Princess Buttercup, ex-Princess Buttercup, etc. and have been here since 2000 when I was still married to him.

I just need someone unrelated to the whole mess to bounce some ideas off from.

Basically, she's freaking out about me ending the mid-week visits that were part of the parenting time in the divorce order. My ex passed away in early Sept. and I continued them to keep things consistent for the kids, but her involvement in my life is NOT healthy for me.

There is a LOT more to it, but I think it would be helpful for someone who remembers a bit of my story to hear some stuff that I really don't want to post on the internets. smirk


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Sweetie, God bless you and your family. I don't remember all the specifics with XMIL, but I just wanted to chime in here.
I'm sure it's hard on you.
My thoughts:
The kids are older and should have some say about going to spend time with Grandma.
XMIL is probably trying to latch onto any remnant of her son that she can and may be rewriting history to make him sound better. (if this is the case, kids lived it at the time, and will take it for what it is).

Many Blessings


It was a marriage that never really started.
H: Conflict Avoider, NPD No communication skills (Confirmed by MC) Me: Enabler
Sep'd 12/01, D'd 08/03.
My joys and the light of my life: DD 11, DD 9
*Approach life and situations from the point of love - not from fear.*
newly #2011469 01/18/08 03:43 PM
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Wow, I've been out of touch. Not sure what to say about your ex.......I hadn't heard. sigh..... well, hang in there, anyway!

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Buttercup,
Bellevue here. I remember you, and some of your story, tho not specifically about your MIL. I sent you an email. If you don't get the responses you need and if writing between us is helpful, I'm available.
I remember you posting about your ex. Very sad. And I know you had a very hard road for a long time.

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PB,

I have just about been in the same place you are...except that it wasn't suicide...it was an accident.

I think you should just give the grandparents some "grandparent" time. That might be once a month...it might be less...it could get to a place where it is more too.

The parenting time naturally stopped upon his death...much like child support stops. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

I would tell them that you are agreeable to some grandparent time but that the children will no longer be adhering to that parenting schedule since that parent is gone.

Unfortunately you cannot remove them from the kid's lives. They are their grandparents and I have heard of grandparents petitioning family court for grandparent time. Offer up some type of visiting schedule...because that is what they will be doing with the kids...visiting...NOT parenting.

See what they say about working on grandparent time.

You can decide the lengths of the visits

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