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Any suggestions on how to make our home more desirable place to be? *DELETED*
#2011545 01/17/08 04:30 PM
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txbrokenheart75 Offline OP
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Post deleted by txbrokenheart75

BW-32
wh-32
M-10years
2 boys-2 yo and 8mo
Dday 12/31/07
NC-3/28/08 after many broken attempts
Re: Any suggestions on how to make our home more desirable place to be?
txbrokenheart75 #2011546 01/17/08 05:19 PM
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Hi txbrokenheart
You sound like a great W. I hope this works out for you!

The best is to ask yourself what your H likes best. Everyone has different ENs. What attracted him to you when you first met? My WH's top EN is admiration although he would never admit it (left it out completely on the form).

But I've never come across an H that didn't love a hot dinner ready when he got home and 'difficult issues' kept until he had a full tummy!

3 adult children
Divorced - he was a serial adulterer
Now remarried, thank you MB
(formerly lied_to_again)
Re: Any suggestions on how to make our home more desirable place to be?
living_well #2011547 01/17/08 05:41 PM
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Set_You_Free Offline
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It's also about you. What attracted him to you in the first place? (Hey! Lied To and I agree!) Was it you hovering around trying to meet his every need, never once thinking of yourself?

I doubt it. I find the best you can do is become the best person you can be. You being you was probably what attracted him to you in the first place. I realize life is much different now with kids and all, but the idea is still the same.

It may be like a butterfly - the more you chase it, the more it evades you. When you stop chasing and just sit there, it comes to you.

Sometimes when we pursue someone, they know they "have" us and don't need to do anything. It's when we stop chasing that they realize they really do want us.

Funny, when my wife thinks of my ex, she loses her appetite too!

It is rare for a truly happy woman to try and take a child away from it's father.
Re: Any suggestions on how to make our home more desirable place to be?
txbrokenheart75 #2011548 01/17/08 06:05 PM
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Principled Offline
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Hi txbrokenheart75,

Get some time alone together away from the children if it's possible.

Good luck with your Plan A and start preparing your Plan B so that it's ready if and when you need it.

My Main Thread
Plan B Success Stories
Re: Any suggestions on how to make our home more desirable place to be?
Principled #2011549 01/17/08 06:27 PM
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Have you tried an early bedtime for the kids? I got both my boys into routines and they were in bed by 7:30 when they were little. It was dinner, family time, bath, bed. I read to them and let them look at picture books IN BED when they got older.

But it always made for relaxing time for me and hubby. No matter how hectic the evenings got, we always had together alone time after 7:30PM.

The side benefit is both boys turned out to be excellent readers, and were never cranky from lack of sleep.
Re: Any suggestions on how to make our home more desirable place to be?
txbrokenheart75 #2011550 01/17/08 07:07 PM
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FreeToBeMe1970 Offline
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You can always send the kids to Grandma's and answer the door with your/his favorite teddy or matching set of "unmentionables"...and with dinner cooked of course. lol

Candles lit, make some yummy dessert, heck buy some whipped cream. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> ok I'm on a roll now.

Rent a scary movie so you can JUMP in his arms.
Play truth or dare.
Get a blanket and lay outside under the stars after the kids fall asleep.

I swear, why did my WH think he could get better? <sigh>

"Love the life you live, live the life you love." Bob Marley BS(me)37 WH(37) DS1 Dau from prev M 16 Married 4/06 D-day 6/06, again 11/06, again 4/07 Plan A'd all over the place, then Injunction 10/07, WH moved in with OW WH has own place 12/07 1/08 Plan B
Re: Any suggestions on how to make our home more desirable place to be? *DELETED*
FreeToBeMe1970 #2011551 01/18/08 09:24 AM
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txbrokenheart75 Offline OP
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Post deleted by txbrokenheart75

BW-32
wh-32
M-10years
2 boys-2 yo and 8mo
Dday 12/31/07
NC-3/28/08 after many broken attempts
Re: Any suggestions on how to make our home more desirable place to be?
txbrokenheart75 #2011552 01/18/08 09:57 AM
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You know, it is strange. Our society gives lip service to how important our SAHM's are, but in reality doesn't do much to support them. Just know that you are doing one of the most important jobs in the world, and it isn't glamorous.

Be sure to keep up interests that you have in common with hubby, and you can talk about those too. And then, LISTENING is always a good skill. You can ask how his day at work went. Men usually like to talk about that.
Re: Any suggestions on how to make our home more desirable place to be?
believer #2011553 01/18/08 11:12 AM
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Kudos to you, tx. You have been dealt a bad hand but are making the best of it. Good luck, our prayers are with you.

It is rare for a truly happy woman to try and take a child away from it's father.

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