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Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 674
Member
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Member
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 674 |
Update...
Married 21yrs,WH has been living with OP 1 year now...
He has just served me with papers..I would still like to recover my marriage..My lawyer is quite ruthless and I'm worried it will make WH more angry and IF he was thinking of coming home it would turn him away.I know I'm being pathetic but I don't want to mess up any chance of a recovery allthough
I know I have to think of me and my kids best interests.H ow do you do divorce without lovebusting?Is it possible?
Also have people recovered their marriage after papers were filed?
BS;ME43,WH45
DS19,DS16
DDay:6Dec06
WH left12Dec06
DIV:3Dec08
WH marries OW 21days later!
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Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 271
Member
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Member
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 271 |
I am so sorry you are here. From your post I think you know that you need to set limits and act in both your and your children's interests. Your WH isn't choosing your family right now. I don't think you should be overly concerned with his being upset during a D given his A. Besides, your treatment of him during a D isn't likely to significantly affect any decision he'd make about leaving OP.
You can take firm positions such as: (1) not wanting the D; (2) insisting on $X=large amount of financial support if he insists on the D; etc... without LBing. Be honest. Polite. And assertive. Don't agree to the D if he's trying voluntary dissolution. He may not like it, but it's his fault you are here. Tell your attorney that you prefer to slow things down where possible. Let him work via your lawyer, not with you -- then you won't be LBing.
Your odds of your M recovering may not be good, but OTOH, the stress of a D could possibly interfere with his affair. At this point the most loving thing you can do is probably letting him understand the consequences of the choices he's making.
- WG
BH 40, Married: 2002, Discovered affairs: Fall 2005, Divorced: Spring 2008
Advocate grace daily
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