Ever since I found out my husband had a GF, I have become very detatched. I didn't yell, I didn't pass judgement, I barely even cried.

Internally, I felt like my heart had been shattered. We are trying to work on our marriage together, but I often feel like the words "I love you" sound like words without meaning when coming from my mouth. I don't have any patience, yet I don't seem to get mad or happy.

My husband appears to be genuinely trying and I know I am depressed and need meds for depression, but my worry is that I haven't truly reacted to everything that happened. Its all stewing inside me and I don't have clue as to how to express what I feel so that we can truly start over.

How do I reattatch my detatched emotions?

I think that is a perfectly normal reaction. I'm doing the opposite...I cry, cry, cry. All the time. I am a non-stop cryer <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

As for how you reattach your emotions - I don't know. I'm waiting for someone to tell me how to stop crying!

If you suspect you are depressed, seek health care. See your doctor. You may need medication, you may need Individual counseling, maybe both. I am depressed and I KNOW now that I need a medication change. Being diagnosed makes a huge difference - but please don't diagnose yourself.

Wishing you all the best.

I have dealt with depression before, although I have never been this detatched before. I'm not completely sure that I am not having a nervous breakdown. But I'm not trying to diagnose myself, yet I don't have the money to go see anyone.

I am usually the one to yell and cry and be extremely emotional. But I can't seem to release any of the emotions surrounding how I feel.

I want to cry, but I have only cried twice for about 2 minutes. Usually, when I am upset, I will cry until I can't breath and nearly hyperventilate. I can tell there are things still bottled up, but I don't know how to release them.

I love my husband, but I am having trouble feeling anything. My insides are like a black hole devoid of emotion.

I had a black hole too. I don't think this is uncommon. In my case I did not cry until I had acupuncture for a foot problem months after D day. Suddenly I cried as if the end of the world had come. It just poured and poured out.

The acupuncturist was wonderful. She didn't ask me any questions, just gave me tons of tissues. She said it happens a lot! Perhaps I knew I could trust her, perhaps it was the effect of the acupuncture. I dunno.

Felt great afterwards!

MrsS.... i wish i was a black hole of emotions at times... i tend to wear my emotions on mysleeve so it is hard for me to deal with all of what is going on. It isn't uncommon and i am sure there will be a point and time you do release your emotions and that isn't so bad either.

Sometimes people respond to a huge shock by detaching - it's one way for the mind to protect itself initially when it has been overwhelmed.

There have been a few times in my life overpowering enough that I experienced detachment. I was able to function, able to interact, able to continue my regular duties and obligations, but it was if I was observing myself and making note that I should be having a more emotional response.

I found for me that part of my response was a protective mechanism toward those I was responsible for as well as toward those who were looking to me for guidance/leadership. In other words my internal controls were telling me that I didn't have the 'luxury' of breaking down at this time. After a few weeks when the immediate emergency was less acute, I was able to start processing the emotions that had been missing.

Another thing I found that helped was to (this may sound hokie) was to watch sad movies. It would help to jumpstart the flow and it wasn't quite as painful to me because it diffused the focus a little.

I'm sorry that you're going through such a hard time.