Hello

I'm finding life tough in Plan B and could use some more success stories to inspire me but I'm having trouble finding them.

I thought it would be a good idea to start a thread which has links to as many as possible so that it would help me as well as others.

Do you know of any?

If so, please post link(s) in your reply.

To start the ball rolling:

mywifeilove's first thread (continue the story from his signature)

If this has been done already, then please just point me to the right place.

Thanks

P

Thought it would be handy to have the list right at the top of the thread.

The List So Far

mywifeilove's first thread (continue the story from his signature)

Mortarman Starts Plan B

Mortarman worried about potential negative consequence of pursuing custody and divorce proceedings

Mortarman begins to experience benefit of darkness in Plan B but Mrs Mortarman tries to undermine it

HopeThisWorks' Plan B

mimi_here's Plan B

silentlucidity's Plan B

silentlucidity's ending Plan B Thread

Neak's Plan B didn't last long but you can learn a lot from her story on how to end it correctly

Ace_in_bucket's more general success story thread

MWIL success came from Plan A. Look up hopethisworks he has explained on my thread that he was in Plan A for a year then Plan B for a year before his W came home. Also Mortarman and Mimi had success in plan B

Didn't BrambleRose have success in Plan B after almost 18 months?

MFIL, skinsgal: thanks for replying. I was rather hoping that people had the links to hand as trying to find the original threads is quite hard with the search function. No matter, I will try and locate the ones you suggest and post them.

MFIL: your point about Plan B working after a good Plan A is well taken.

Mortarman's Threads

Mortarman Starts Plan B

Mortarman worried about potential negative consequence of pursuing custody and divorce proceedings.

Mortarman begins to experience bene...but Mrs Mortarman tries to undermine it.

mimi_here's Plan B

Keep 'em coming folks! I liked this one a lot.

Well, I can't tell you if I'm a success story yet, but I did the whole shebang, and am now working toward recovery with my FWH.

My threads are in my sig line.

Keep fighting for your M, in a nice, dark, Plan B.

Hi SL,

Thanks for responding. I've been reading your Plan B thread. I'm amazed at the similarities between your experience and what I'm going through. The bewildering swings of emotion, heartache over the effect it's all having on your kids, amazement at the maturity of their response, uncertainty about the future and if the plan is right etc. etc.

You are lucky that you felt able to write down your feelings and to get all that help from folks here. I feel less comfortable with doing that.

I got to this page: http://www.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/sho...art=26&vc=1 and post #3246773 - 05/25/07 09:17 PM. I can't work out what happened for you to get out of Plan B and let PWC move back in. Did you post about that or did I just miss something?

Wow, you're right Principled, that threat skips right over May 5th, 07, the day we met face to face after an email he wrote and then called and basically threw himself at my feet.

I'll see if I can find the thread that I started at that time...

Here is the thread my guardian angel Mimi started for me, when she read on LilSis' thread that PWC had contacted me (you can't sneak anything by Mimi). Mimi has been with me this entire time. I still cannot believe it's been well over 1.5 years and she's STILL helping me. I am blessed, in so many ways...

Ending Plan B Thread

Thanks SL. I'll give it a read right now!

I found Mimi's thread inspirational too.

Happy Birthday by the way!

P

Wow SL, what a fantastic end to your Plan B!

I dream of that happening to me! and about five minutes later look up my lawyer's number to initiate Plan D but you know what that's all about right?

I, too, dreamt of the day that I would get the chance at recovery. I didn't BELIEVE it could be me. I continued to live in the illusion that PWC was DIFFERENT from other waywards, that I had SPECIAL circumstances. I didn't.

Oh, the swings during Plan B could be extreme for me. Mimi talked me DOWN a number of times and got me to refocus. There is no need to rush such an end as divorce, unless it's absolutely necessary for you and your childrens' well being.

Take whatever time to you need to be absolutely sure. I never really was sure of D, just sure that I hurt and was ANGRY at PWC.

Let the story unfold. As long as you are safe, financially and physcally, Plan B can do you lots of good in so many ways, spiritually, physcially, emotionally, and can help prepare you for recovery.

I was interested in this statement



I am a very OPEN person. I've actually learned to keep some things to myself since this all started. When you are in the depths of despair, however, this can be a safe haven. I understand manys' reluctance to post, for various reasons. WE are here, when needed.

SL,

It maybe unjustified caution but I wish to maintain my anonymity. Bonkers (my WW), knows I'm an advocate of MB and that I participate on this forum although I think she would have a hard time identifying my thread due to my deliberate omission of detail. It might seem ridiculous but I can imagine her and the OP having a laugh at my expense and, bizarrely, that inhibits me.

I know that my participation here demonstrates a level of integrity and moral ethic that they don't posses. I know that they are so wrapped up in the drama of their own lives that they probably wouldn't take the trouble to even look here. Logically I should be unconcerned and write what I like but, emotionally I am concerned.

So my posts are infrequent, confined to when I really need help but light on detail. This must make it difficult for people to help me although the responses I have received to my thread have been incredibly helpful and I'm grateful for them. BobP and BigK have helped me no end off line and I will be eternally grateful to them.

All my friends, family and colleagues just want me to hurry up and push the Plan D button. They remain astonished that I have and continue to tolerate the crap that Bonkers has dealt to me. They all think that they have my best interests at heart but none of them have ever been in a similar situation so they don't truly understand what it's like.

That's why I started this thread. I need to read as many Plan B stories that resulted in a shot at recovery on the correct terms as I can (that's what I deem to be a successful Plan B). I need them as an antidote to the down periods where I loathe her, an alternative to liberally dispensed Plan D advice and to reinforce my conviction that what I'm doing is right. I imagine that all the other people in the middle of Plan B or about to embark on it need the same thing.

Hopefully more people will be kind enough to contribute!

Neak's Plan B didn't last long but you can learn a lot from her story on how to end it correctly.

Edited the very first post in this thread to put the list in one convenient place. Also included a reference to Ace's more general purpose success story thread which I didn't know about until today.

Ace, if you're reading, of the stories referenced in your thread, have I missed any that were examples of successful Plan B's i.e. BS got a proper shot at recovery due to the Plan?

Anyone else have something to contribute?

Plan B came for me at a PERFECT time....my Plan A was pretty good for 3 months....then FWW moved out....I was in Plan B for quite a few weeks....contacted SH....and told him what I knew (see my threads)...and suggested a renewed Plan A....and it happened to be when the A was floundering on it's last leg.

So the script of Plan A then Plan B can really have differing results and effectivenss, based on timing of what is happening in the A.

But looking back at it all now, I truly feel my experience was God's call upon me to re-invest in myself. And I now go through everyday, enjoying life to the fullest, with much confidence in myself....but always knowing that I'm not perfect....and accepting that fact. And my dear wife is 100% on board! Our love, marriage and family continue to grow, and has developed layers of bonding that I'd never dreamed of.

Good luck to all during this journey that will ultimately create growth within yourself!
MWIL

MWIL.. you and Mortarman (not to mention several others currently going through the sitch) are my heroes! Glad to see you around!

Bump for Drowning Man