i have no problem getting the house in just my name if it is at all possible. i fear it is not. i don't derive any pleasure from having his name on the loan. i also have no pity for the man that it is still on the loan.

is he still legally responsible? yes he is. but i have been making the payments.

if anyone wants to offer up the names of some mortgage brokers who will work with someone like me i have no issue with that. i would actually feel quite accomplished to have it just in my name. i just don't think my credit is good enough. i tried last year doing it in just my name and it was a no go.

i have no problem selling it either, but if i do, i am not staying in this town. the only reason i stay here now is because we are in the house. if that is gone, i have no desire whatsoever to stay here. but i am trying to appease my kids because they don't want to move.

mlhb

Sweetie - do whatever is best for you and those kids...

I was just trying to help with some of my life experiences - as I was dealing with a deadbeat exhusband who almost put me in the poorhouse.

Love,
Laura

thank you laura.

i understand that those of you who did not remain in the marital home and your exes did, you were on the other side of the coin i am on. i didn't really think of that aspect when i posted this information.

since he is the one who betrayed me so many times, i just don't have much pity for him. boo hoo, his name is still on the house. um, don't care. that is how i feel anyway. but even though i feel that way i try to do what is right.

as i said before, it is in god's hands.
at first i thought it was awesome that i would have to sell the house. i thought "woo hoo, our ticket out of here" but i continued to pray and put things in god's hands. i just prayed that god would have us be where ever we were meant to be. then i go to my lawyers and he says i don't have to sell the house at all and that my ex has no case... well... i am starting to feel like maybe we are where god wants us to be.

i will make some offers of time frames, but i am not going to worry about it. it is truly in the hands of the guy upstairs.

mlhb

Good for you - I'm a firm believer that what is meant to happen - will happen.

Just to make one point - I was the one who remained in my marital house when I got divorced.....I had to pay my ex lots to get everything in my name only - I'm still paying as a matter of fact. However, it was worth every single dime!

Laura

Truly,

I am sorry about the defaulted loans. That would put me over the edge. Sometimes in a D., when the wife has been a SAHM and isn't making much $$, it is hard to turn around and refi a house. You go from 2 incomes to 1 small one. It would have been hard for me to get a loan for any house, especially the one I'm in. I will refi in time, or pay it off. There is fewer than 10 years left on the mortage. A car is different. You either get rid of the asset or get your name off the loan.

Anyway, MLHB, best of luck. And you are right, it will work out.

my credit score is currently below 550. if anyone knows of ANY lenders that will work that let me know.

i am finding it highly unlikely.

by next year at this time i should have it higher.

mlhb

Pretty much did. Without getting into all of the gory details (and they are gory) - I had to fork over almost 4 months worth of past due car payments - and pay off the loan in full in order to salvage MY credit life. Well, tee hee, imagine my ex-husband's surprise when I showed up at his apartment one day in 2005 with the spare set of car keys in my hand - gave them to my Dad (the retired Police SWAT team member) - and we drove away.....I had to pay another $225.00 to get the title transferred to my name (I forged his signature) and then sold it to a friend of mine. In the end, I only lost $200.00 in this fiasco. (my ex husband is an addict, in and out of jail, etc., so he wasn't in much of position to argue).....

He called me months later and told me that I had no right to take HIS car......I laughed and said - so SUE me....

Awesome....
Laura

*chuckle*

good one!

mlhb

I have lenders who can work with that sort of rating, although I certainly can't promise that you'll get any great rates from them. I'm not sure how to get info to you, or hw to introduce you "Uh, Fred, someone who knows me from an online message board and who may or may not be using her real name there might be calling you soon about a mortgage. So, if someone like that calls, it was a referral from me." <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

rates will suck i am sure.
my marriage ending 3 years ago did a number on my credit.
a car was repoed because when my ex left he stopped paying in it. i had to scramble to be making mortgage payments. i was in school full time and working 2-3 jobs at a time at the same time.

i am getting on track but am not there yet. as year goes by i am getting more things taken care of, but it is not easy to do alone. but i am doing it.

you can email me eyes at mhugginsboyea@yahoo.com if you really think you have lenders that can help me. i am in ny state.

thank you
mlhb

we got hit BAD with an ice and snow storm last night.
so, i go out this morning (i teach sunday school to the teenagers so have to be there before 10) and see that i cannot even open any of the doors on my car, they are all frozen shut. the car is one complete sheet of ice. even better, the plows that came through several times last night have me plowed in and it is NOT just snow, it is frozen with ice.

so i am outside shoveling off my stairs and attempting to shovel basically frozen snow so if i am ever able to open one of my doors to start my car, i might be able to get out to make it at least to 11:00 church.

how come, while i am struggling trying to shovel myself out, do at least 3 trucks with plows on them, just drive by me like they don't even see what i am doing? can someone not just stop and say " here, let me plow that out for you to make it easier" it would take one or two swoops of a plow and i would be out of here all ready. but no, they drive right by. my neighbors, several of them have plows, know i am a single woman with 2 kids living here, and no one, NO ONE ever offers to plow me out. i don't get it. have we really become that selfish of a world that we can't take 5 minutes to help someone out without having to be asked to do it?

once in a great while my front drive will be plowed out for me when i am not home. thank you to whomever does that.

i am just discouraged and don't get it. i always stop if someone needs help. they see what i am doing and know that a plow in 2 seconds could have it done, they have a plow on their truck, and they just drive right by.

very very sad to me.

mlhb

[b][/b]Very interesting indeed. A whole new look for 2008.
Hope everyone had a nice Easter. Things have been busy for me. Classes started back up again so I am doing that, and working full time with a very busy case load. I have one business up and running and another soon to start. I sent my reply to my exes attorney concerning the house. I will know more in the coming weeks I am sure.

Life is good and I am happy. No new men in the picture and that is fine. I am truly not ready yet. Honestly, I don't trust myself yet. I don't trust that I won't keep picking the same type of man. I guess I don't trust my picker and I need to work on that!

Well, just wanted to check in. You can see my biz website below, I have added it. :-)
Pretty cool to have a real live side business!

mlhb

Gosh, so quiet lately....

Well, I am not having much luck with another MB get together :-( Guess it will be me, American Beauty, and Fear No Evil again. Not that that is bad cuz they are both real cool! But more friends would be nice. I had a bunch on the General Board who were interested but have not heard from them since. Oh well. I will try one more time and if no avail, then we will just plan it as is.

Starting Thursday I am on vaca for 11 days!!!! ahhhh.... Much needed. I am not going anywhere. Maybe a day trip or two with the kids. Money is not flowing as much right now due to having to retain my attorney on the house issue. So, the kids and I are going room by room and cleaning and getting ridding of junk. My step father is coming with a big truck to help me clean out the garage and bring to the dump all stuff I want to get rid of. If for some reason I end up having to sell the house it will be ready, and if I don't it will be clean and junk free and I will start the remodeling I want to do. Win-win.

I love my classes and am so glad I changed my major to Human Services. It is a MUCH better fit than Elementary Ed was for me. I plan to sit for the Counseling Exam when I am done and am focusing on addictions such as drug/alcohol/food/ and eating disorders. I'd love to work in a private facility one day working with those who suffer from these afflictions. My classes are very hands on and I love them. I will have my bachelor's soon.

I am still working on getting my side business up and going. I hope to have things swinging by the fall. It is so wonderful to be taking care of myself and getting in 2-3 hours of working out a day. Feels GREAT!

Kids are doing pretty well. Their father is still an [censored] and causes them hurt and tears from time to time. I will always be their solid rock.

No dating. I'd probably go if I were asked, but right now am focusing on my education and career. I am really glad that I am ok with being alone and don't have to have someone in my life. I feel badly for those who can't do that.

Happy spring everyone if it ever gets here. It is a whopping 24 degrees here in upstate NY with more snow and ice then I care to deal with :-(

mlhb

Hey MLHB...it's a whopping 40 here in the Pac Norwest!

You sound like you're doing great! I'm happy for you.

No doubt exH is a jerk b/c he's not happy with himself. I've recognized that in myself and others. It's amazing how nice you can be when you've got your s#it together...

L2F

well, happiness is a choice. and i am choosing to be happy. and to work towards my goals. and not worry about anything else. one day at a time you know?

thanks for stopping by!

mlhb

ahhhhh.... 12 days of vacation start today.... thank you lord!

mlhb

lucky duck....I can request a week and get 2 days.....request 3 and get 1. I am a civil servant.....sometimes not so civil but definitely feeling servant-like (or worse).

GRRRR!

Enjoy your time off.

Thank you.
In my line of work I make my own schedule. I pretty much just tell my boss I am taking the time off and she is like "ok" :-) As long as I have the time I can take it.

We are not going anywhere. Maybe one overnighter but otherwise the kids and I are SPRING CLEANING. Even though there is still snow on the stupid ground here, we are spring cleaning darnit!

mlhb

[b][/b]I love college this semester! I am so glad I switched back into a SUNY college. And I am finally on the right path academically and careerwise. I will have a degree in Human Services when I am done in another year or so. I plan to sit for the counseling certification. I am taking a big concentration in addictions, family intervention, crisis intervention, more psychology's (i have already taken a ton), and counseling classes. i just got one of my first papers back in crisis intervention and i got a 90% on it!!! WOOO HOOOO!!! THAT'S WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT!

This is so cool.
My life, in so many ways, thanks to God, is coming together so nicely.

just had to share.

if you have ever thought about going back to college, think no more... JUST DO IT! you won't be sorry.

Well, I have decided to put the marital residence up for sale.

Sigh...

I am in between on my thoughts.

I had a possibility of refinancing but I think I want a fresh start. I think I want to be out of the burden of owning right now. Things are starting to go wrong here and there that I need a man to fix. I can't afford to hire people to do things and I am sorry, but there are just certain things that it is nice to have a man around the house for and I don't desire or have the time to learn how to manage everything by myself anymore. Screw it. At least if I rent I can call the landlord when something goes wrong!

So please keep me and my kids in prayer that the house will sell quickly and that we will find a nice home to rent.

Thank you
mlhb