After being with her he said he wanted out of them marriage. the marriage was a sham. He never loved me....he only married me and had 2 kids because it was the "right" thing to do.
This is just wayward babble. Ignore it. They all say the same thing. tst told me he hadn't loved me for 13 years and was just biding his time until the kids were grown. They rewrite history to justify the horrid actions.
What kind of woman actively pursues a married man with two children?
We all know the answer to this, don't we? In my case, OW set up a hotel room and called and invited FWH to meet her.
I tried PLan A, exposed, was nice, accommodating. Lots of cake-eating. To no avail.
Do you feel you did a really good Plan A? Eliminated love busting? Worked to meet his emotional needs or to demonstrate a willingness to meet them?
Remember, Plan A is often followed by Plan B. Plan A often doesn't "produce results"; but later, in Plan B, you may reap the benefits of a superb Plan A.
He is so foggy he was babbling all the time about how he was meant to be with her. BLAH BLAH BLAH. I've realized now it is all fogspeak.
That's exactly what it is. Learn to tune it out. Vent here.
He says he is divorcing me no matter what.
This is more babble. They all say it. FWH told me that he was not seeing OW anymore (when he left the second time), and that his leaving had nothing to do with her. Yeah right!
I feel she just wants to be in love and once they face reality, that life is not easy, that real love takes effort- he might be back.
You are probably right. But you don't know for sure how long that will take. That's why working the plans is so important. You will have a timeline for how long you will wait out the A.
But just today on the phone he said "even if I came back you wouldn't want me."
This is a great opportunity to Plan A his behind.
Respond with something like, "I am confident that we can learn to meet each other's needs fully. I will do whatever it takes to create a happy, fulfilling marriage for both of us."
Maybe he's expressing guilt, maybe he's coppin' out, maybe he's asking whether you would be willing to take him back. Doesn't matter what his motives are...Plan A is hiney.
I have faith the A will die out. She will get tired of waiting... That it felt great at first but it will die out. She won't wait for him. l
That's why you want to avoid any divorce talk. She will get bored waiting. She wants the fairy tale.
She said in her emails to him she loved him to infinity and beyond-seriously.
That is hilarious!! That's what my little one has said to me for years every night at bedtime, "I love you infinity and beyond." Infinity and beyond--right outta Buzz Lightyear. Perhaps, she's giving a clue about her emotional age. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
It's adorable when my little one says it. But it makes one want to upchuck coming from a "grown" woman.
Even today he denies he's engaged, but his GF is advertising it to OUR friends.
Sounds like rocky waters ahead for the luv birds.
Anyway, I'm doing what I can to protect myself and the kids. The rest is up to him. If he pursues Divorce I will contest, stall for as long as I can. I have never wanted my children to come from a broken home. I will do what it takes to keep my family together and he knows that BUT there will come a time when enough will be enough and I may have to leave him behind.
Good for you! It sounds like you know what you want.
How long have you Plan A'd? Do you feel you did a good job of it? Are you taking steps to prepare for Plan B (the LSA is a good step to get prepared)?
