Thought I'd rip off Resonance here and open a "Virtual Bar" for those of us who might need a "drink" or three and share a light moment, a laugh, a joke, or maybe just a vent.
Bartender doesn't guarantee anything more than to lend an ear, and a brief respite from your woes and a place to have a good time with good friends as take a break from your daily strife.

The "Bar" is open!
What'll ya have?

Margarita with LOTS of SALT - and NOT NO VIRGIN ONE FOR ME.....

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Oh wouldn't my AA members love this, that is if they can find their sense of humor.

Barkeep! A pan-galactic gargle blaster, please, without the olive.

Thanks!

I'd like to order a Harvey Headbanger for the OM and a double shot of reality for the WW, please. I'll take a shot of 3 wise men for myself while we're at it.

I gotta try one of thoses duck farts...LOL!

I'd like a Jack sour, please...or THREE!

Lino - One Headbanger, One Fog Cutter and Three Suffering B*stards coming right up!

I feel generous today! How about a Skanky Ho with a twist of lemming for Wayzilla and a Double Woodchipper for Gollum.

Skinsgal - One margarita coming up. Don't worry, we don't serve "virgin" anything here, just virtual! Plenty of salt too. Just not enough to rub in any wounds ok? This is a friendly Bar.(lol)

Bit - I'll make yours a double. Hold the olives.

LaLa - One DF for the Oregon fan in you and a triple super sour...

Whew!! I already need to hire some help!!

Just keep the Crown coming until I can't remember anything...

I'll take a Keyser Soze Car Bomb; really does obliterate that infidelity term memory....

I need a heart transplant and a lobotomy. Straight up.


.....and can I get some nachos with that please?

Do you have pitchers? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

I only drink Iced Tea.

They make that on Long Island, right? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/ooo.gif" alt="" />

I'm having a little trouble with some of these drinks...

Chrisner - What exactly is in a Skanky Ho and Double Woodchipper???
Howsabout Fog Cutters and Suffering ****** for everyone?!!!

K71 - I'll just set the bottle here for you. Let me know if you need a cab!

Better yet, do you have any single malt Scotch?

Or maybe some of that "Down Home Stuff..."

Something to take the chill off, perhaps...like a taste of Tennessee's finest...

Or something from Moscow, with a twist...

On second thought...







Give me


ONE


OF


EACH! <Hic>

I'm looking for extra money? How do I apply?

Bourbon, on the rocks.



and leave the bottle. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

One bourbon, one scotch, and one beer
One bourbon, one scotch, and one beer
Hey mister bartender come here
I want another drink and I want it now

My baby she gone, she been gone two night
I ain't seen my baby since night before last
One bourbon, one scotch, and one beer


And then I sit there, gettin' high, mellow
Knocked out, feeling good and by the time
I looked on the wall at the old clock on the wall
By that time, it was ten thirty daddy

I looked down the bar, at the bartender
He said, "Now what do you want Johnny?"

One bourbon, one scotch, and one beer

Well my baby she gone, she been gone two night
I ain't seen my baby since night before last
I wanna get drunk till I'm off of my mind
One bourbon, one scotch, and one beer


And I sat there, gettin' high, stoned
Knocked out, and by the time
I looked on the wall, at the old clock again
And by that time, it was a quarter to two

Last call for alcohol, I said,
Hey mister bartender, what do you want?"

One bourbon, one scotch, and one beer
One bourbon, one scotch, and one beer
One bourbon, one scotch, and one beer

OK, that's one car bomb, one surgery soup (sorry mopey, the kitchen's not open yet) and Mark, as your bartender I must suggest a wee dram o' Laphroig.

What have I gotten myself into?!? (HA!)

Sorry TTH,

They probably are not in the Old Mr. Boston's book.

A Skanky Ho is aircraft deicer and Chanel #5 with a candidiasis suppository garnish and a Woodchipper is battery acid and #2 diesel with razor blade garnishes.

Hope that helps.

Skins - We work on the honor system here.
You're welcome to pitch in if you like. Maybe we can do sort of a Coyote Ugly type of thing (though I'm not much of a dancer...)
Rpynne - How's a bottle of Makers suit ya?

Mr. Thorogood er Jamesus, could I assume you'll be performing tonight in the lounge? I think I speak for all of the patrons when I say we could use a little entertainment around here...