Hi Everyone,

It has been a while since I've posted. In my earlier posts I explained exactly what I have been going through with my marriage. Anyway, after much thought I finally decided to go through with my divorce. I spoke with an attorney on last week and they are going to start the process. I did not want it to end this way but I do not know what else to do. My husband is not aware of it because I know that he will become abusive. We have been separated for over a year. Anyway, I am now having mixed emotions. I know divorcing him is best for me but I also feel that I am doing him wrong by initiating the divorce. I don't know why I am feeling guilty. I am innocent. I tried everything in my power to make this marriage work. He have been with the other woman since we've been married and we've been married for 4 years! He use to visit me but live with her and others. Also, for those of you who have already gotten divorces, did you keep the love letters and other items that your spouse gave you or did you get rid of everything? I am now trying to decide what to do with these items. Someone please help me if you have any advice! I am torn to pieces over this. I can't rest, I can't sleep, I can't think clear.

Guilt is very common when you file. Also, you are going to be torn to pieces for a while ok? So start getting to work on yourself. Are you seeing a therapist?

Wait before you toss things out in haste. However, put them away in the attic or basement in a spot where you don't have to look at them.

Tania, it's okay to be torn about this decision. You take marriage seriously, and because of that you have very mixed emotions. On top of that, you've been abused and manipulated by your husband so that reality has become clouded.

Divorce is a weighty responsibility, but on the other side, you'll be able to accept that you did what you had to do. It gets better. A lot better.

I really didn't have to worry about love letters since I never got any from my ex. Other stuff, I kept. Somewhere there are photos. I NEVER look at them though. They churn up so many bad memories and seeing them makes me hate my ex all over again.