OW #2 offered herself to FWH as a 50th birthday gift. they had been corresponding via PM on a marathon runners website and had not yet met in person. He says he hadn't even seen a photo of her and that the PMs were not flirtatious or sexual in content. He also says he had not yet told her of his sexual frustration in our marriage.

So, why would a woman (who stood to be shunned by her religious community and lose her children if she was found to be an adulterer) offer sex to a married man she has never met unless a) she is an instrument of the devil, b) she has done this before (had an affair) or c) there WAS some reason for her to believe that her offer would be accepted?

I've been reading your other thread, and think you got good advice. Just remember that her actions put her in the predicament she is in. Your exposing the affair would not be her downfall.

And don't spend too much of your precious time trying to figure out the whys of adultery. It's a big waste of time.

I pick C.



Did you see the PMs yourself. If so, and they say what you say they say, he is gaslighting you into believing that nothing is going on. I smell bullchit bigtime.



Ummmm....is he planning on it????



There is another BS here whose husband also had an affair with a woman from a runner's site. Hmmmmmm....

If you've got proof of all this stuff you need to expose.

Infidelity continues to occur even in countries where the penalty is death - well at least to the woman.

People committing infidelity can commit acts and behaviors that are out of character for them. Ordinary people have killed their spouses or have had their spouses kill in the pursuit of their infidelity. Adulterous astronauts strap on diapers and drive cross country with mace and rope to get the new *girlfriend* of her OM.

So, looking for some understandable reason for some of the behaviors and choices - is probably a futile pursuit.



I haven't back threaded to look at your earlier posts so if I speak out of turn here, just let me know, because I mean no harm.

There is one thing that is always true about infidelity - those who engage in it whether emotional or physical - lie.
Whether by omission or commission.

Not only do they lie to their betrayed spouse - they lie to their partner in adultery.

Your comments are all valid... WSs intent upon adultery will LIE to everyone, themselves included.

Upon FURTHER QUESTIONING, he admitted that there HAD been flirtatious/suggestive emails and they HAD met previous to her "offering herself" to him as a birthday present.

As to the "why", FWH continues to state that our marriage was in a bad state. I agree with that, but there IS NO GOOD EXCUSE for an affair.