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Joined: Jan 2008
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Post deleted by txbrokenheart75
BW-32
wh-32
M-10years
2 boys-2 yo and 8mo
Dday 12/31/07
NC-3/28/08 after many broken attempts
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 5,906
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Joined: Jan 2008
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Post deleted by txbrokenheart75
BW-32
wh-32
M-10years
2 boys-2 yo and 8mo
Dday 12/31/07
NC-3/28/08 after many broken attempts
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 5,906
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what does he say were the "reasons" for the affair..
was it physical
has he been tested.
have you been tested..
what has he offerred thus far in recovery..
access to all emails
access to phones
new numbers
has he sought a pro marriage counselor for you both
how does he say contact supposedly ended..
do you have family near by to support you
ark
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Joined: Jan 2008
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Post deleted by txbrokenheart75
BW-32
wh-32
M-10years
2 boys-2 yo and 8mo
Dday 12/31/07
NC-3/28/08 after many broken attempts
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 5,906
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are you saying he refuses to tell you if it was physical...
he and you must get tested.......
does he have an employee assistance program
do you belong to a church
is there a work cell phone or is it a family plan
ark
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Joined: Jan 2008
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Post deleted by txbrokenheart75
BW-32
wh-32
M-10years
2 boys-2 yo and 8mo
Dday 12/31/07
NC-3/28/08 after many broken attempts
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 5,906
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 5,906 |
you must get STD tested as well as he...
not negotiable...
can you contact the priest/minister and ask what is available......
he writes a no contact letter
is there drinking or drug abuse..
any physical/emotional abuse...
ark
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Post deleted by txbrokenheart75
BW-32
wh-32
M-10years
2 boys-2 yo and 8mo
Dday 12/31/07
NC-3/28/08 after many broken attempts
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Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 58
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OP
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Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 58 |
Post deleted by txbrokenheart75
BW-32
wh-32
M-10years
2 boys-2 yo and 8mo
Dday 12/31/07
NC-3/28/08 after many broken attempts
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 5,906
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Posts: 5,906 |
when he calls tell him you are busy and will call back
can you get a copy of surviving an affair at the bookstore or library today???
can you expose to his parents....siblings....
people who can help you....
ark
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Joined: Jul 2001
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Call your pastor right away. Meet with him first to describe the whole situation.
You said "I" belong to a church, not "WE"...does that mean your husband does not belong with you?
If you want to confront him -- just say "I know where you were this morning". Nothing more.
Have you started Plan A? Do you know what emotional needs you weren't meeting for him? Have you been demonstrating a willingness to meet those needs?
This is not uncommon. You didn't have any protections in place. He must be willing to commit to your marriage. He must be willing to do marriage counseling with your pastor. He must be an open book. Plus he needs to communicate to OW that it is OVER, with your approval.
I would contact OW's family. I would also contact her.
Tell her you love your husband, and your very young children need him.
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Post deleted by txbrokenheart75
BW-32
wh-32
M-10years
2 boys-2 yo and 8mo
Dday 12/31/07
NC-3/28/08 after many broken attempts
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Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 5,247
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Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 5,247 |
I think you definitely should tell his parents.
You would think a preacher would have taught him right from wrong -- especially the commandments!
They are a great exposure target!
Just tell them you have sad news, and would really appreciate their help in saving your family!
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Post deleted by txbrokenheart75
BW-32
wh-32
M-10years
2 boys-2 yo and 8mo
Dday 12/31/07
NC-3/28/08 after many broken attempts
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Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 5,247
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Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 5,247 |
Then I think he has a high need for an attractive spouse.
Be sure that when he comes home you are looking good.
Dressed nicely (appropriately for SAHM!)
Call your pastor. He will be there for you in this crisis!
Today:
Call your pastor.
Call his parents.
Contact her parents.
Contact HER.
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Post deleted by txbrokenheart75
BW-32
wh-32
M-10years
2 boys-2 yo and 8mo
Dday 12/31/07
NC-3/28/08 after many broken attempts
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
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Ask your H today:
Is she pregnant?
Just those words - repeat until he breaks
he says :
"Why do you ask?"
"Who are you talking about?"
"You are crazy"
"Whatever"
You REPEAT the question
"Is she pregnant?"
.... I have a bad feeling .....
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Post deleted by txbrokenheart75
BW-32
wh-32
M-10years
2 boys-2 yo and 8mo
Dday 12/31/07
NC-3/28/08 after many broken attempts
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Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 5,247
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Member
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 5,247 |
Even if she's not it will put tremendous fear in him.
Not to mention the fact that is where your troubles started...
It would also cause trouble in paradise....
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