Kate,

Leave. Immediately.

Be the safe and responsible adult that your children need as a role model. Demonstrate to them that violent, cruel, dangerous (cocaine, punching walls, etc.) behavior is absolutely unacceptable.

You can get some of the support and practical advice you need here. Also, find a trusted counselor near your home who is also knowledgeable about children's needs in this type of situation. Work with your counselor to develop a plan for your kids' sake and for yours.

Good luck,
LiesRedux

P.S. You mentioned a few times in your early posts that "this is not depression" and "he is just like everyone else in his family". Guess what? Depression can run in a family. Don't ignore that possibility.

Also, whether or not it is depression, remember what I recommended earlier. Leave. Now. Your safety and your kids' well-being depends on putting some space between this volatile, abusive, and unsafe situation. Please leave. None of us want to read about you as a victim of domestic violence in the news...