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Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 261
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OP
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Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 261 |
Well, since that most lonely of days (when you're single) is right around the corner.....was hoping for some thoughts from vets on how to approach it.
I'm in early stages of plan A. WW only wants to be with OM and doesn't want me 'pressuring' her with R stuff.
What is safe to do for V-day? Do I ignore it all together? Do I get mushy and do something special? I know she won't go out with me....I'm sure OM and her have plans for such a romantic evening.......gag!
Thoughts?
Male 34 (1st Marriage)
WW 32 (2nd Marriage)
Met 7/02
Moved In 10/02
Married 6/07
EA D-Day 1/5/08
PA D-Day 1/8/08
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Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 261
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OP
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Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 261 |
No thoughts on V-Day? I hope that isn't why we all find ourselves here! J/K of course.
Male 34 (1st Marriage)
WW 32 (2nd Marriage)
Met 7/02
Moved In 10/02
Married 6/07
EA D-Day 1/5/08
PA D-Day 1/8/08
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Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 61
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Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 61 |
Here's my V-day situation. Lol
It has always been my favorite holiday because I am a romantic person. I think my wife has purposely avoided it and new years because of that. I asked her on new years while sitting on our butts (yeah, go figure) at home if she would want to be my valentine. Yesterday I asked her about going out Wednesday night because I knew V-day fell on wednesday ( I'm sneaky). She might as well have told me to get stuffed! But, I bet OM has fun unless she has so much guilt that it really is over and she is just too depressed and shocked to see how strong I am, and that even though she pooed on our marriage, I was still willing to ask her to be my valentine.
Oh well, what to do
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Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 261
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OP
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Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 261 |
I hear ya....what to do?
You mentioned NYE. As it was a few days before discovering the A, I had asked my WW (who had left home and staying with relatives at that point in time) if we could go out on New Years. She said that wasn't going to help her need for "alone time" from our R and she preferred not to go out with me.
She told me the next day that she went to a bar with OM and his friends, but got tired and took taxi home...and was in bed by 10:30.
I know now that she wasn't lying about that....but sure wasn't giving me ALL the info.!!! You talk about feeling horrible....man that hurt once I realized she was in bed w/ him!!!
I have a feeling V-Day will be just the same. What a tough day it will be.
That's why I don't know if I should suggest WE do something, just so she has to turn me down....or if I should just ignore it altogether?
Male 34 (1st Marriage)
WW 32 (2nd Marriage)
Met 7/02
Moved In 10/02
Married 6/07
EA D-Day 1/5/08
PA D-Day 1/8/08
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 6,058
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 6,058 |
Maybe you could have/stage a crisis du jour that she would have to respond to in some way...Just so she isn't lonely waiting for OM to arrive, of course... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />
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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 665
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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 665 |
Valentine's Day will be my 17th wedding anniversary. I don't have a clue what I'm going to do.
BS(me) 40
WH 40
D-day 10/03/2007
***Recovering and growing wiser and stronger.***
I was divorced 10/08/2008.
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Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 2,959
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Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 2,959 |
I just posted on ILA's other thread... a single, long stemmed rose and a small framed picture of the two of you together, when times were good.
A little reminder that love "did" exist before the wayward started re-writing the marital history. And a reminder that they ARE still married!
BH - me 53, ONS 1979
FWW - 51, 2 EA's, 1 PA
Last D-Day, Sep. 30, 2003
Last Contact/recovery began 2-26-04
***You can do anything with time and money...but remember...money won't buy you time!***
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Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 261
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OP
Member
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 261 |
Bumping up for any other thoughts....since the day is nearly upon us!
So far, SD...I like your idea.
Male 34 (1st Marriage)
WW 32 (2nd Marriage)
Met 7/02
Moved In 10/02
Married 6/07
EA D-Day 1/5/08
PA D-Day 1/8/08
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