Snuggles,

Glad to see you still here.

I'll check back in with you.

Take Care!

Thank Goodness!!

I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE your name!!

Thanks, SMB for clueing me in!!

I hereby DECLARE that your NEW NAME is SNUGGLY and not that OTHER NAME...!!

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Hi Snuggly,

Glad to hear you're sticking around. I hope that if he read your post, he also read TST's message to him.

well it has been a rollercoaster but as far as the posts go he says he wants me to listen to you all more closely on how to get him back..... to stop with the crying. i went to my dr today cause i was having a meltdown and he went with me to help explain what was going on. it helped

my sil is also going to help me everyday to focus on what has to be done. prior to that and this afternoon before he left we just sat and talked. now asnwer me this doese a guy who has no romanti feeling for someone get aroused just by them kissing their cheeck and chin???? or do you have to have some emotion behind it????

also today when i told him i loved him he gave me the eyes and smiled.... i giggled and said you do love me...... and he just smiled even bigger.

You have definitely got to STOP the crying around him.

Snuggles....

Glad to see your return. While I am glad he said that you should stay here and listen, I am concerned for your welfare. Not with him, but with the Depression. You are dealing with a lot of issues, ones not even concerning him. You need to focus on yourself. If you can get yourself through a lot of your past issues, you will become stronger and that will be very desirable to him.

I do think he cares for you.....therefore...stick to making YOU better....

((((snuggles)))))

I love the name too.....

not2fun

thanks... you all are correct.... that's why i went to the doctors today..... it was my psychiatrist to see if they could help. I think deep down he wants to come home but everyone is right who would want to come home to an emotional mess. It just won't happen that way.

i am starting over today.... today is about focus on me and the other important person in my life. Those are what are important. i am still going to get help and he likes that. he is just afraid if he comes back it will stop. He also said the lazt time he was home he didn't give me the chance and he could see the changes and that is why he has to work on himself first before he can work on us.

This is BULL CRAP...Don't buy that BULL CRAP. He can work on himself AT HOME.

Mimi is right. That is just babble.

Snuggles, I suggest you make a short list of what exactly you need to accomplish daily and then post it on your mirror and maybe the frig. Somewhere that you look often.

This will give you direction in your day and you can look at it in the evening and know you accomplished the important stuff.

For example, in my situation, what I need to do daily is:

shower and make myself look nice
pray & read Scripture
eat breakfast
plan lunch and dinner
get children going on their school work (homeschool)
get fresh air

That's the bare necessities. I might consider adding, take a walk/exercise, take a nap, etc.

This is the bare necessity list that helps you take care of YOU and the children (if you have any--can't remember)

Thanks for the list and suggestion there SMB.... i am going to start to do it tomo.

Ok update today is that OW doesn't know that WH and i talk a lot or text.... she definately doesn't know about some other things. Today we tesxt back and forth a bit. It was playful on my part being a little on the racey side of things and i think he liked that as that is how i used to talk to him when we first started dating. At least i think he does cause he kept texting me and i kept it up off and on.

I dunno i could be off base but i know conversation and admiration and spending time together are a few of the important ENs. Since he is not here for me to meet them directly i try to do it the best way i can.

My plan A has been halfa**** at best.... the crying doesn't help at all but i am going to try and do much better.

I just don't kow if there is any hope for him to come home. He is living with someone else and he tells me the ideal thing would be for him to be able to come home....blah blah ... fog fog fog. I dunno does there seem like there is any glimmer of hope in my situation or not?

i keep trying to hold on to something but everyone is telling me it is a waste of time. r they right?

bump

There's always hope.

He sounds like the tipical WS ... He's conflicted... He probobly does want to come home.... depending on what time it is, weather it's sunny, raining, windy snowy... He probably changes his mind about this randomly...

He may not know how to come home and make an honest effort at the marriage.

Hang in there... Things will work out. Keep working on you and improving you... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Yes snuggly, there is hope. You saw hiw fast it can happen.
so don't give up! I do think he does have every intention on comming home but he needs to deal with his shame first, and of course get rid of OW.

My sil is so funny..... she is helping me on my Plan A.... i get up now every morning and ask her what my approach is today..... she walks me through every little step to see how to get this work..... her and my MIL are supportive of me. My MIL wants to take me shopping this weekend to get some new clothes and makeup to make me look nice for her son. She told me she has no intentions of meeting OW even if he tries to bring her around. She said she is concerned about me and wants this all to pass. I am hoping with their help i can do a great plan A from here on out.

We shall see.... i have been trying to meet his EN of converstation and admiration the last few times we talk..... he said we have to be friends first before we can be anything else and i agree..... but as i told him he loves me and i know it and that he won't be able to resist me for too long.... and he just laughed in a good way and said YES DEAR.... hehe ... so who knows day by day.

Thanks TMTS and Amazing for your support.... i really need it tonight and TMTS i know what you mean.... i watched it happen on your thread... i am just afraid because he is living with the OW and her son.... not sure how that will be easy for him to end it with all of that going on.

Things will work out... Try not to focus on the affair... focus on you.

What are you doing for you?

New clothes? new waist line? What changes are you making in you?

New waist line.... new clothes..... but i have been doing all that for awhile.

I do a lot for me.... i do things i enjoy now painting...reading.... movies.... and most important playing with my baby.... love her so much.

I am focused on me for the most part. It is important and i am making changes in me cause i am a happy person now.... i have not been in a long time and i love it. I just now need to show him that side of me.

I have been working on that with provocative text messages... and he LOVES it.

I think you have a lot of great things going your way...


There's one...


and another...

You're doing great...and I think it's great the your in-laws are supporting you.

Hi Snuggly,

Yes, I had the bonus that OM was a player. The thing I see with your thread wich is similar to mine is that he seems to show caring feeling towards you. Not much in term of LBs.

My gut tells me things will work out.