Thanks Amazin for the input... i appreciate it.

TMTS i hope you are right..... i am going to do it this way and work on us being friends.... i have told him that he wasn't able to resist me before as friends and he isn't going to be able to this time..... All he does is snicker and say yes dear... and smiles...... i know he loves me and i can see it in his eyes..... he just has to give into it.

Btw..... all he says is that i am very bad... lol loud and that the texts are fun..... and he hasn't said no.... so i know he is at least interested.... why didn't i think of this sooner.... SS gave me the idea nad it is SOOOOO much fun.... i love it

Make sure you express your appreciation to your MIL and SIL, but especially MIL. There are many of us BS's who had in-laws that supported the WS or just wanted them to "be happy" (like leaving the family and going outside Gods' will ever makes anyone happy!)

I was pretty "close" with my FIL, but he wanted me to be nice about the divorce "for the kids sake". My FWS moved in with my FIL and step-MIL. They coddled him and served him. Step-MIL got up early and made his coffee every morning, did his laundry, etc. (gag!)

They thought *I* was unreasonable because I was fighting for my husband.

My SIL new about the affair and never told me. She just "wanted to be there for WS". Why didn't any of them want to be there for WS's 5 children?!

These are just more betrayals I have to work through, like the affair isn't enough already.



You are very blessed. Make sure they you that YOU KNOW that you are blessed.

I do.... my MIL is sad that she feels like she is loosing the daughter she never had with me. We are supposed to go shoping this weekend i am thinking maybe tomo afternoon would be good and take her to lunch..... the baby is being baptized in a few weeks and i need to get some stuff for that. She also wants to go clothes shoping with me to find me some new sexy clothes to go with the 50+lbs i lost since the baby..... she wants her son to ocme home and she in no way believes the relationship with this OW is going to work....SHe told me you catch more with honey that vinegar... the crying was the vinegar.... so i am trying the honey.

I am thinking of getting gifts for the Godparents and one for WH even though he probably doesn't deserve it.... i was going to get him a cross on a chair nothing real expensive just something nice was all. He used to have one and wore it all the time till it broke.... i think he might like it. what do you think???

Ok well now WH is pissed..... i had said when i wanted to have our DD baptism... well it has been on our family calander for almost a month now that is it 3/9.... and well he is pissed cause he wants me to wait cause he doesn't want to be around my family.... he is afraid of what they will say or do i guess... i told him that they love him like a son and they care about him and he said he understands that but they still don't like what he has done.... now he is pissed

So he think it will be different 3, 6, 9 months down the road? He needs to remember that mommy is not coming to save him on this one and needs to wake up. He's acting like my 13yo. He made his decision, now he faces the consequences of it... or he could be a real man and come back to his family and work on building a new marriage...oh sorry, mommy can't help him do that either. He knows he's not a teenager anymore... right?

Sorry Snuggly, each time I think of the Christmas picture of snuggles I get pissed off.

Yea i know TMTS..... he said he is going ot have to get his doctor to give him strong medicine to take...... oh well i didn't do this i am not living with another person.

title says it all

(((snuggles)))

you should be in bed...heck, I should be in bed...

And who is worried?? him or you??? I would give my first thoughts on this, but it aint' pretty.

anyway, hang in there and GET SOME SLEEP....

not2fun

he is worried....says he doesn;t need any more issues

((((snuggles))))

ok...I hope you followed my advice and got some sleep. You can't be up all night worrying about him and his worries. You have to take care of YOURSELF....

Now, about your title....just remember this....he is NOT cheating on the OW....he's cheating on you. Don't bother on trying to educate him on this, it will get you nowhere.
If he says this to you again (did he really say this??? The wayward mind...what a waste....YUCK), calmly and confidently state the truth that he is cheating on you. Then change the subject. This is straight out of Orchid's reverse babble.

Anyway, have a GREAT time with your MIL today....and be cheerful....the world smiles when you smile.....

not2fun

ok well this am he has been texting me. We talked alittle bit about us and he told me that i have been mostly right about how he feels. He is not ready to tell me everything yet but what i have been saying is right..

what you ask have a i been saying is that i know he loves me and that he wants to come home. He is afraid to come home cause i have been an emotional basketcaase as i have mentioned before. Can't blame him there. He said he can't have the relationship he has always dreamed of with her for various reasons but he said he can't explain it to me yet. I don't know what any of that means and i just feel UGHGGGG today.

I DECLARE TODAY AS A BS PRODUCTIVITY DAY!

Do something productive to get your mind off the A.

I'm painting...

N2F is cleaning her basement...

You can do something too... maybe something as simple as getting all your laundry done folded and put away... or Cleaning your house... Something that needs done that you've been puting off... It will make you feel a lot better. I know I always do.

lol amazin.... i have already accomplished a lot today.... dishes done... house straightened and closthes folded and put away..... hehe i keep myserlf busy .... but i am a fast and dilagent worker

is it possible to bring my WH even if he has moved in with OW...... i just feel like i am fighting a losing battle at this point.

From what I’ve read … yes it is possible… I’m sure there’s some vets here who can attest to this personally.

Don’t lose hope… and don’t get depressed… go do something to make you feel better and get your mind off the affair… That’s what I plan on doing today… Finish the trim in my daughter’s room then go look for a new bed for her. I want to go get some new clothes for me but I’m hesitant… I still want to lose some more weight first.

Here’s a cyber hug for ya…

((((Snuggles))))

Keep your chin up...I hope you feel better… <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

To clarify my post i'd like to get WH to come back home..... i miss him terribly.... i am going to go out for awhile to get away from everything....

I am probably the one who has the WH gone the longest right now, well maybe not, but certainly in one of the strangeest situations.

Is there hope? There is HOPE as long as you HAVE FAITH in G-d. One of the things I am praying diligently and everyday for is the willingness and ability to completely turn my WH over to G-d. There is NOTHING more I can do for him. Ok, well maybe showing up at his lacrosse game.

But you know what I mean. During the days when I have my strength, I can clearly see that this is not "our" battle but a battle between him and G-d.

The most important thing YOU CAN DO, is take care of yourself, listen to G-d and hear what changes he wants you to make, create a life for you and let G-d take care of the situation.

We are so here for you snuggles and will hold your hand every step of the way when you need us. You aren't along, you can do this and your M can survive if you are willing to walk through it till the end.

Hard, OH GOODNESS YES. Tiring, BEYOND BELIEF Sad, TO DEEP TO BEAR AT TIMES..

But you are an amaazing person and G-d believes in you like we do.

Thanks Queenie.... i appreciate yours and everyone elses support.... i have been doing a much better plan A. I think i have gotten the hang of it and TMTS would be proud. WH even said that he sees how much of a better person i am and are becoming. he likes my new personality and has gained respect for me. I feel much better about myself accept things for what they are.

Yesterday he told me i was right about alot of things on how he felt but he would go into specifics cause he isn't ready to yet. He is afraid i will get on a rollercoaster of emotion again. I feel like the wya we talk right now is like when we were first getting to know each other. Playful for the most part so we are both laughing. It has been fun and i miss that. I know he has missed the me that i have become and thanks to my meds i want to stay this way. I feel so much better about myself it is unbelievable.

Well i am at work and then running some errands then off to give the little one a nap. I will be back when she is sleeping.

The fact that they live together is actually much better for the affair ending. If they only see each other from time to time, they never really get a taste of reality. The longest affairs are the ones where they DON'T get together. Just keep in mind that affairs almost always end. The chances of them staying together are very slim.