on wish i had for today tho... is i wish that my WH was like some of the FWS that once the A was known that they ended it and tried to work things out. He has told me that he wasn't strong enough to do that and i dunno i just wish he had been one of those.

I said the same thing...and my husband felt the same way as you...and he was RIGHT!!!!

I am still putting together a piece called "inside the wayward mind" which will hopefully help newbies who come here and just cannot figure out who the new MONSTER in the house is...the one that used to be their loving spouse. My hope is that by seeing how similar the script is for ALL waywards, they will be quicker to believe people here and put aside those feelings of "my sitch is sooo unique" and "oh-he/she will leave me for sure" if I expose/take charge/Plan A/Plan B...whatever. I think the first few days/weeks after finding out is CRUCIAL in regards to the way the BS can pick themselves back up and move forward. It can shave weeks/months off the A, it can protect kids and finances, it can protect the BS from further pain and suffering, etc. They KEY, IMO, is getting them to BELIEVE that this program works and that waywards ALL say the same things!!

Anyhoo...I digress... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Snuggles...what are your plans this weekend? Gonna have some fun, read some books, do a mani/pedi on yourself...what????

plans yes i do.... i have to work saturday and sunday am..... but then i have plenty of time to spend with my beautiful daughter..... going to go to baby's r us and take her shopping..... and i am going to paint.... read a little.... and maybe watch a movie or two.... nothing to exciting but stuff i like to do. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

well wh was in a good mood and then all of a sudden he was in a bad mood. i am not sure what happened. who knows he could be mad at me again. he did call tonight he said he was just aggrivated and my stinkin thinking goes crazy wondering what i could have done now. it may not have to do with anything that i did but who knows.

he hates coming on this board he says he does it so he knows his enemy.... i said i am not the enemy i am your wife who is doing all she can to save her marriage.

At any rate i have been in a great mood all day...... i have to work this weekend so i will be up bright and early again the next two days to see the sick pts at the hospital..... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

GREAT fog babble to reverse babble, Snuggles!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Mr. Snuggles...grow the hayul UP, dude! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Nothing really to report. WH is sick with the flu/ chest cold and was in the ER yesterday. We talked via text and on the phone almost all day which was nice. I can't help but worry about him. when he gets sick he gets really sick. He then called me last night at around 11 saying he was sorry to bother me but had a few questions. I told him he is never a bother which is true. I wish i could have him here to take care of him better cause he has ended up really sick in the past.

At any rate i went to bed and low and behold who starts to cough at 1 am... DD. I hope it isn't anything at all and it goes away as this am she has stopped coughing. At any rate that is motherhood.

and is the OW there helping him when he is sick????

He doesn't need her to be becasue he knows Snuggles will come to the rescue. Right Snuggles? That might also be why he doesn't feel the need to reconcile...he doens't need a wife so long as he has access to a mother.

Sorry Snuggles, he really pisses me off. He's giving you crumbs and playing you like a fiddle. Please take a step back and try to look at what he's doing from the outside looking in, and you'll understand why we get frustrated with him. This cake eating, fence sitting, crumb giving garbage is bull chit!

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/teary.gif" alt="" />.....

Honey--STOP crying and turn that pain into power!

(((((SNUGGLES)))))

YOU CAN DO THIS...YOU ARE A POWERFUL GODDESS WHO DESERVES MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh Snuggles, I know it's hard, and I can't imagine going through this with a baby to look after at well.

Like Lala says, you can do this! And you certainly deserve to be treated beater.

((((((Snuggles))))))

no it's not me crying over this... it's just hard to explain... i am not a mean person at all and i work in healthcare so it's hard for me... it's hard to explain how he really is on here... you all only hear myside of the story.... i wish he would post so you could hear his. it would make more sense for y'all if you heard both sides of the story..

i am in a good place today.... i was sad cause it's hard to get through on here what all is going on.

I hope my post had the intended effect. I see him taking advantage of you at every turn. I didn't mean to make you more sad than you already are, I wanted to shake you up a little in hopes that you will see what he is doing to you.

Snuggles,

I don't understand what you are trying to say. How he really is has no bearing on this whatsoever. Because how he really is right now is how he wants you to see him. You want us to start seeing him in a different light, then tell us he's written a NC letter that you've approved, and gave it to her, tell us that he's agreed to be transparent in his future actions, tell us he's ready to do MC with you, tell us he's moved back home.

Until the time that you can confirm this, we are just going to keep telling you the same thing. Talk is cheap dear, and in here talk is worth next to nothing, action is what speaks volumes, and in his case his action aren't saying much at all.

BTW. Being mean has nothing to do with this. You are standing up for your self respect. You are saying that you deserve better than the treatment you are getting and you will not accept any different. That is not mean... it's strong.

Preach it, TMTS and LaLa....Snuggles, I'm still reading even if I don't post/bump your thread....mostly because I don't need to....you're getting great advice regularly.

We care enough to tell you that your defending him is hurting you.....it's a special brand of BS fog.....I had it badly so I can see it in you. Have you read my story? When I said NO MORE.....WH chose to change.

It may sound harsh, but it is the truth.


Is this what you want? What we are all telling you is what will help you achieve this.

His cake-eating is draining you. You risk losing your love for him, which will mean it's time for Plan B. Have you read up on it?

Please know that we care enough to tell you. Otherwise your thread would just slip into oblivion.

Still praying for you.

Ace

Has anyone told her to read "the book..."

Love Must Be Tough...By James Dobson.

or the "other book..."

Boundaries...By John Townsend and Henry Cloud.


There's another one that I read sometimes that gives me strength when I need it, too...

Mark

I have the "Boundries" book but I haven't read it... Is it good?

I probably need to read it... For some reason it seems my family is way too nice and we let people walk all over us.

Well DD had a temp of 104.4 today took her to the pediatrician and she has a urinary tract infection. I will know more tomo. I have been giving her round the clock motrin and tylenol her temp is now 102 ish and she is sleeping for the moment... i will have to wake her up in about an hour to check her temp again and give her more meds.

i feel so bad for such a little one. After the urinary tract infection clears i will likely have to take her to have special testing done to make sure she doesn't have any reflux from her bladder back to her kidney's but we will handle that if and when that comes.... for tonight i just want my little baby to get some rest... she looks os pathetic and i wish i could make her feel allll better.

Snuggles...

Sorry to hear about your daughter.

How are you doing? Just checking on ya! I want to make sure you didn't fall off the face of the earth.

Hey Snuggles...how's your DD?

How are you?

Looking for an update since it's been a few days.

Ace