Post deleted by Cherishing

Cherishing, while I agree with most of what you're saying, I really don't think the basketball playing should be removed. He has said that he has given up everything else for the M and for her. I can't help but see that she is being unrealistic in this instance. I can see how sometimes, she may want to spend time with him on the regular times he plays ball; maybe there's a party or play or something on Saturday morning - and in that case, he could be willing to arrange a game at a different time. But the only thing that will happen, if he gives it up, after giving up all the other activities, is he will resent her and mess up the M. How can he be POJA on something he has said so firmly is a VERY important part of him? That would be like telling his wife she had to give up haircuts and cut her own hair for the rest of her life. And be enthusiastic about it.

That being said, I'm sure OP can find many other ways to improve the M, and to work on getting her to commit to making the M better, too.

Not to be disrespectful, but reading your post somewhat proves my point that women think more with emotion and not logic. You should read my post again because I NEVER once said, "My wife did not like basketball and that's just too bad." See, that's the way you are viewing it in your eyes, but I never even came close to saying that.

You are migrating into an area where you tend to compare me to your husband. It is sad that your husband treated you the way he did (according to your post), but I never abused my wife, I never cheated on my wife, and I never told her I was playing basketball even if she doesn't like it. Like I said, she's fine with it for the most part. It's those few episodes every once in a while that causes an argument.

I really think you should read my posts again, and not from a woman's perspective who has gone through what you have. You answered the question to my previous post when I asked if you thought women's feelings are more important than a man's. Because it is clearly obvious you do believe that. Not once did you address my wife's behavior. Your only suggestion is for me to give up basketball and do what she says. I'm sorry but that is absolutely ridiculous. Your letting your relationship and your emotions cloud your thinking. I really hope you and your husband work things out because it looks like your situation may be worse off than mine.

MJR --

I wish I had just posted the link to Dr. Harley's information on the Policy of Joint Agreement and not offered any comments. Good luck to you and your wife.

Cherishing

HI -

Was just feeling utterly sorry for you both. You need to do things together on your own and with the children. This will help your wife feel loved and wanted more. It sounds like she is feeling fragile and a it jealous of your long standing hobby with your friends, encourage her to meet up with her friends. You should too meet up with freinds well as your basketball you need your space. you could always on different times have a game of basket ball with your wife.

Obviously i'm not surprised your wife blew up when you were an hour late for back than normal. I know she didn't say a time but one can assume she thought you would have been on time!
Hope this helps!

This would have ticked me off. You know you have plans to go to your MIL's house. You know you are running an hour late. You know your wife has called your cell and you don't call her back?!?! Did you say ANYTHING to her when you got home?
I don't agree with your wife leaving with out telling you but I could see where she would feel she is at the bottom of your list.
You say she knew you were playing basket ball. She happily watched you leave. You knew she made plans for you to go to her mothers. You ignored this, lost track of time doing what you wanted. Ignored her call and went about your buisness. Do you see where she would be upset?