Found out this is defintion of absolute D:

An absolute divorce is a judicial termination of a marriage based on marital misconduct or other statutory cause arising after the marriage ceremony. As a result of an absolute divorce both parties' status becomes single again.


Ok, lmited divorce is the same thing as a trial separation.


grounds for D in AR

A divorce may be granted in Arkansas for any of the following grounds:

Where either party, at the time of the contract, was and still is impotent;

Where either party shall be convicted of a felony or other infamous crime;

Where either party shall be addicted to habitual drunkenness for one (1) year, shall be guilty of such cruel and barbarous treatment as to endanger the life of the other, or shall offer such indignities to the person of the other as shall render his or her condition intolerable;

Where either party shall have committed adultery subsequent to the marriage;

Where husband and wife have lived separate and apart from each other for eighteen (18) continuous months, without cohabitation, the court shall grant an absolute decree of divorce at the suit of either party, whether the separation was the voluntary act of one party or by the mutual consent of both parties or due to the fault of either party or both parties;

(a) In all cases where a husband and wife have lived separate and apart for three consecutive years, without cohabitation, by reason of the incurable insanity of one of them, the court shall grant a decree of absolute divorce upon the petition of the sane spouse if the proof shows that the insane spouse has been committed to an institution for the care and treatment of the insane for three or more years prior to the filing of the suit, been adjudged to be of unsound mind by a court of competent jurisdiction, and has not been discharged from such adjudication by such court and the proof of insanity is supported by the evidence of two reputable physicians familiar with the mental condition of the spouse, one of whom shall be a regularly practicing physician in the community wherein such spouse resided and, where the insane spouse has been confined in an institution for the care and treatment of the insane, that the proof in the case is supported by the evidence of the superintendent or one of the physicians of the institution wherein the insane spouse has been confined;

(b) In all decrees granted under this subdivision, the court shall require the plaintiff to provide for the care and maintenance of the insane defendant so long as he or she may live. The trial court will retain jurisdiction of the parties and the cause, from term to term, for the purpose of making such further orders as equity may require to enforce the provisions of the decree requiring plaintiff to furnish funds for such care and maintenance;

(c) Service of process upon an insane spouse shall be had by service of process upon the duly appointed, qualified, and acting guardian of the insane spouse or upon a duly appointed guardian ad litem for the insane spouse, and where the insane spouse is confined in an institution for the care of the insane, upon the superintendent or physician in charge of the institution wherein the insane spouse is at the time confined. However, where the insane spouse is not confined in an institution, service of process upon the duly appointed, qualified, and acting guardian of the insane spouse, or duly appointed guardian ad litem and thereafter personal service or constructive service on an insane defendant by publication of warning order for four weeks shall be sufficient;

Where either spouse legally obligated to support the other, and having the ability to provide the other with the common necessaries of life, willfully fails to do so.

1st,

WH stated that he will pay child support LATER! WTF is LATER??!!

Probably in his next life.

Doesn't sound like he is the sharpest knife in the drawer.

Again, what did you expect?

kirk

I have, for almost 20 years now, been involved in one way or another with prison ministries. My husband and I have had parolees stay in our home; so did my parents before my mother died, and they were still living independently. I have visited (with my children when they were young) numerous federal and state prisons to see inmates there, worked as a nurse in a prison hospital, and helped out in chapel services for years.

I am not hypothesizing without knowledge when I say this: Do not walk, do not stop, do not even hesitate--run away from this relationship. Men in prison are notorious for forming relationships with naive women (which you acknowledge yourself to have been), whom they then dump as soon as the woman ceases to be useful to them. I remember one we used to see some years back when we visited a friend, now deceased. In this case, she was much older than the inmate she was visiting. Every time we visited, she was there--buying him food, snuggling up to him as much as the visiting room rules would allow...and she was also there, so I was told, all the days we were NOT, plus she sent him spending money besides, over a period of years. The day he was paroled, she picked him up at the prison, with her jewelry and a large sum of money, and away they went to Vegas to get married. He dropped her off at the door of the casino/hotel and went "to park the car." That was the last she ever saw of him, or her possessions.

The only possible way a prison relationship like that can work is if the man (or woman) is genuinely changed in their heart, and no matter how much your husband claims to "be a Christian" with his words, every behavior you have described from him simply SCREAMS out that this is not so. I cannot emphasize this strongly enough: you are fortunate to get to escape this with your life, a few possessions, healthy children, and "only" a single STD. Give God thanks for saving you from much, MUCH worse and make the rest of the days He gives you a living testimony of gratitude to the One who rescued you from yourself, and a man fully under Satan's control.

t&l

I'm wondering if he put down the wrong date for the M because he had to.

Was the actual marriage earlier or later than this?

We got married in early 2004.

lied_to_again:
what do you mean because he had to?

thndrnltng:
he was in prison once, and that happened 15 years ago. He has not been in since then. I know this man is a wolf in sheep's clothing using spirituality to get what he wants. And I don't want him back in his current condition/state.

New info I found out.

-WH told them that he doesn't know where I am so my address is "unknown". But he has my # to call I also sent him pics of our son and daughter with our address on it.

-His grounds again was that we have lived apart since Mar 2007-9 mos according to him, do the math doesn't add up, but that's not true.

-WH is representing himself.

-WH got his fees waived b/c he claims unemployment so he got things filed IFP.

-WH says he has money in a checking/savings account. Which I believe I know what bank it's in.

First I've got to see if his complaint is even valid b/c of the info and same for the grounds.

Then if it is, even though it's not the truth, I will counterclaim/cross-file.

WH is trying to get me served in the paper. I'm just waiting for the summons paperwork to get in...

Still talking with lawyer to get everything ready.

Then he certainly seems to have maintained the user mentality that so many inmates have, much to your detriment. I wish you the best in the difficult tasks you still have ahead of you.

t&l

Well I don't want you to worry about this too much as it won't hurt your situation and could actually help, but if he put down completely the wrong date for the M, it makes the divorce petition invalid.

So you have to wonder why he did this.

One possibility is that he was not legally allowed to marry you when he did.

Another possibility is that he was forced to file by OW and it is just a sham.

Could this be the case?

Of course, your counter filing will be for adultery with her and will have all the correct dates and will be a valid filing :-)

lied_to_again:
One possibility is that he was not legally allowed to marry you when he did.

I'll be really po'ed if this is the case. Looks like me and my attny have some researching to do.

Another possibility is that he was forced to file by OW and it is just a sham.

Possibly, that's what a good friend of mine thinks. Incase it won't go through..then he has someone to blame b/c she supposedly pressured him.

t&l:
I understand. WH has just SO much baggage. Some days I hate him, then some days I feel sorry for him. I've come to realize now that I haven't been around him for a while that he is very passive-aggressive. When I look back at all the things he has done, I ask myself how did I ever put up w/that? No wonder why he doesn't mess w/GROWN women. B/c most GROWN women will not put up w/that...


Thanks everyone...will keep you up to date.

No, he wasn't married to anyone else. I was not aware at what was the real cause of his divorces. He told me his side of the story. It was always the other woman's fault. I asked one of the people who knew him and his ex-wife before me and asked them if it was true it was all his x-wife's fault, she told me no...he had a lot to do with it, too. Now that had me thinking...that was back in summer 2006.

I was not aware of the stories he was telling me. All I cared about was marrying this man. Yes, I was super dumb and naive b/c I should've ran when he told me he was married 3 times before. And when he mentioned how many children he has...first he told me about 3 of them..then gradually I was finding out about one after the other.

His own mother even warned me.

But just like I mentioned earlier. I thought he wanted to change, for him.

Now I see this vicious cycle. I don't want my son to repeat it.

Just a thought--you don't have to answer "out loud," but it might be beneficial for you to consider it. Are you sure he was only in prison once, and hasn't been been back for 15 years? He's not exactly a tower of truth, is he? And this may be just one more thing he's lied to you about when it seemed to his advantage to do so...

t&l

Sounds like he is lying to the court to get the quickest divorce he can. He's filed a type of pauper's affidavit to qualify for the waiver of fees. If he does service by publication (which means he posts in the newspaper or on the courthouse front door) he can then get a default divorce without you after so many days.

I wouldn't let him get away with this. Your attorney needs to file an answer on your behalf and request child-support, temporary support or whatever is available. He's thinking he can get this done, no muss no fuss. You need to burst that bubble and force him to own up to his responsibility for his child.