I've been with my hubby 21 years come March. I've had my share of abuse, raped 2x @ 14 and 16, emotional abuse with my parents and husband etc. I can't find anyone to share my abuse matter with so maybe this newfound board can help me. I discovered some years ago that my husband has sex with me while I'm asleep. In the last 5 years it has become more distinguished and absolutely intolerable in the last I'd say 3 years. I suffer with panic attacks/bipolar/depression, I used to take medications but I haven't in the last couple of years. Every time I try to go back on them I get so discouraged because he takes advantage of the sedation it brings. Even having a bunch of surgeries doesn't tug at his compassion strings. I have attempted suicide, done self cutting, had many a psych stay, I've cried to him, I've yelled and fought with him, I've written to him, I've tried to 'discuss' with him, every and any way I could to get him to comprehend how it makes me feel. His latest 'excuse' is that I don't "put out" so he has sex while I'm asleep. He says if I would just give it to him he wouldn't have to. BUT, I've been watching him. We had consensual intimacy on Thursday, and come Saturday he did it, so I told him he can't use that for an excuse anymore. This is so long, I'm sorry. He also, lately has a thing for "behind" so I wake up of course, disgusted. My libido is close to nothing at this point, I'm always angry and depressed, he just won't hear me.There's so much more but any reflection would be greatly appreciated.

YES YES YES. Leave that pig immediately!

Agree with Vladie.

That's called RAPE.

Absolutely. This is marital rape and you should immediately contact the authorites as well as rid him from your life.

Here are some links:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spousal_rape
http://www.star.ak.org/Library/files/maritalrape.htm

YES.

Please look up the phone number for an abuse hotline or women's shelter. They can help you find counseling or whatever else is most appropriate.

You are being raped by your H. Do NOT let him get away with this.

Contact a woman's shelter today. If you need help, email me.

Also, call the police today. He needs to be stopped.

Yes. Of course you are having problems. You are being raped on a regular basis.

I was just skimming through a book on Judaism - as I work in a library - it said that the rabbis specifically forbid a man to have sex with his wife when she is asleep. They recognize that this is rape and that marital sex should always be consensual.

You sound as if you are in contact with mental health professionals. Have you told them about this? Perhaps they can help you once they have a better picture of the circumstances in which you are living.