I recently discovered my husband was having an EA with a coworker for the past 4-6 months. When I discovered the cell phone and text message records I confronted him. He told me who it was right away and told me they were just friends. After showing him several articles he finally realized it for what it was, an EA! He said it makes him sick to look at the phone and text records b/c he didn't realize how out of hand it had gotten.
He hasn't talked to her for about almost two weeks now, but he still sees her on ocassion at work. He says he tries to avoid her and not talk to her, however just the thought of him seeing her kills me. I have read that a lot of people suffer withdrawl after ending the EA, and I think he is going through that now. This past Saturday night I was at work and he woke up at 1:30 am and dialed her number from the house phone without even thinking. When he realized what he had done he hung up right away before she could answer. Sunday night he had me take all the house phones with me so he wouldn't be able to call her. I did, but then he called me because it was driving him crazy that he couldn't call her. He says "it was worse b/c he knew he couldn't were as before he could but never felt the need". Is this part of the withdrawl and how should I help him cope with it? He is truely making every effort he knows to make this work. We go for our first counseling session on Thursday, but was just wondering if anyone had any ideas of how to help him cope with the withdrawl, if that is what he is having? Thanks

As many posters shared in your Just Found Out thread, your H must make a clean break before he can really complete withdrawal. If they are still working together, this will be nearly impossible.

Many others will have additional insight in what to do in the meantime.

Welcome to MB and best wishes to you.

Ace

Withdrawal usually only takes less than a couple of months. But with them working together, and him seeing her, you can expect "withdrawal" to go on and on. And maybe the affair will start up again. It is exactly like letting a crack addict hang out in a crack house.

CS:

I found out about my WH's EA last Thursday and have been riding the wave! At times I feel like I am drowning and at times I feel great - sounds crazy but true.

My best advice is to keep posting here and those with sound advice will assist you - last night I had a rough night but the advice I received and read truly helped me

Stay strong and do what is best for YOU!