First of all, pardon me for my sobby english. I hope you can bare over me.
Today i tried to push my wife into telling me if she had been unfaithfull. Even from the start of our relationship (in the first six months) i became suspicius. Today the bomb fell. She admittet to have betrayed me in the begging of our relation ship, and 2½ years, four months before she got pregnant with our two twin sons.
I´m writing in the forum, because at first. I didnt belive that it was only these two incidents. She claims that the first incident happend because, she wasnt sure about our relationship. The second time, was because I couldnt forfull her emtional needs. I had a down period with sevaire sickness and a following depression wich lastet six months. Secondly i´ve read the Q´s and A´s, but it seems that there was much writing about longlasting affairs, and little about what i have experienced. So thats why i´m posting here.
I´m in a dillemma, because i cant stand the thought, not to see our children everyday, or that our kids some day would call another man "father". I know she has been unfaithfull in most of her other relationships, and thats why i doubt its only these two incidents, wich she claims. I´m pretty sure i would have left her, if she told before the kids came along, but now this decission wether to pick up the pieces, and to part from one antoher, also affects them.
I feel so stupid because, i gave my forgivness for the first incident without her ever telling she did it three months ago. And today i´m pretty confused. I feel that our trust is totaly broken. Also today when she confessed, she changede her story several times, about when and where and why it happend. How can we pick up the pieces if she continues to lie?
Her best friend, and her psychologist have all advised her not to tell me, and that really makes me angry.
I keep thinking about the children, what is worst for them?
Should we pick up the pieces when she acts so irresponsialy?
Can we pick up the pieces when the lies dont stop?
How can i ever trust her again?
sincerly
Caspar