Peachy, I'm sure this man is different. But your thought patterns about this man are the same as the last two boyfriends.

I'm concerned that your thought patterns, and possibly behavior patterns, will lead to the same result this time. Namely, you ending up hurt and disappointed.

It's quite true that problems with the kids don't show up right away......I thought everything was fine when I married my second husband, but I found out all too quickly that he really resented them; and while he treated me well, he was very verbally abusive to them. It really showed up after we were all living together.

Anna

i would like to add peachy, that although we all have a word of advice to give, the truth is none of us know the man, his true intentions, or anything else. and i believe every situation is unique. who are we to say that this guy may or may not be the one? i know when my parents divorce, they were both remarried within the year (ok, my dad doesn't count because he married his affair partner) but my mom me someone and was, and she has been very happily married for almost 20 years since. so, having things move quickly can possibly work.

now, unless we break old patterns, history does tend to repeat itself (i know that all too well) but patterns can change.

i guess what i am saying is, as long as you are being true to yourself and honest with yourself and you let things move past the infatuation stage before making any major decisions, i would think things would be fine. i was not true to myself in last relationship, i chose to ignore and plain just pretend that the millions of red flags flowing in my face were not there. i realized i still needed to do work on myself before i was ready to be in a relationship of that magnitude since i still seemed to be ok with allowing my boundaries to be ignored. because of that experience, i will move wayyyyy snail pace slow next time around LOL

if things work out the way you hope they do, then we all want an invitation. and if not, then you know we will all be here for you and WILL NOT JUDGE YOU NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU MAY HAVE TO VENT ABOUT IT.

keep us updated. and you have my email as well if you ever want to chat, you know that.

mlhb

Greengables...some of the most profound words I've read in awhile. VERY well said.

Some things just do not change. I haven't been on here in awhile, but just like returning to a daytime soap...some things just do not change.

Time for ME to learn from the mistakes of others.