I have been married now for 12 years. I married my HS sweet hart. Things were good for many years.
Well Things seem to really hit rock bottom. I am now wondering if our marriage is over. My wife recents me, cause I won't move back (close to her family). She calls me selfish and I only worry about me. The other night she told me that she has to think about her self and our 3 kids. And will do what is best for them. Her mom and dad in the past would always mention about moving closer to them or bring up there is a job by them. I would just tell them that is nice, but were good. With the wife, in the past I have gone with the flow.. She wanted to pay bills so I let her. She wanted kids to be a certain relgion I let her do that. What ever she wanted I would let her do that except move. So my problem is I have no desire to move. We both have great jobs(with great ret. pay) and live in a place that is great for our kids to grow up in. I'm finally tired of her bringing this subject up. I'm so mentally drained I could through in the white towel now. If she left me today I would not feel sad. I know it's sad to say that, but for the last 7 years our sex/affection has gone done the drain. I have no clue what is four play anymore. I have no clue what it is like to have a wife initaiate sex. It has come down to Me asking for sex instead of it happing. If I did not ask for it, it would not happen and she admits that. Affection there is none on her part at all. I do not know the last time I heard her say I love you. WE have gone to MC and it seems not to work. Each MC has understand both sides and always sided with me. We brought the issue on moving, sex and affection. This has caused me wife to become very upset. I truley have no clue on what to do from here on out.

Sounds like you are both failing to meet each other's emotional needs. Have you read any of the concepts here? 'His Needs, Her Needs' is excellent - I just finished listening to it on CD.

Couples get into a vicious cycle when they don't meet each other's greatest emotional needs (sex is usually the biggest one for men) and they engage in 'love busting' behavior (selfish demands, disrespectful judgements, etc). Pretty soon, each person's love bank is depleted and one (or both) people withdrawal (emotionally and maybe physically) from the relationship.

When you get into counseling and the counselor 'sides' with one spouse, it can make the other spouse feel attacked and very hopeless. I think that is what is great about Dr. Harley's program. It points out how each of us is responsible for meeting the needs of the other person. It's a two-way street. It's not all about one person changing. It's about changing together. Good luck.