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Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 5
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 5 |
I told my husband that I was considering telling his lovers spouse about the affair, so that he to would be informed and able to protect himself. I would do this via the telephone. We used to be friends with his lover and husband about 10 years ago. My husband told me that he doesn't think that the spouse knows about the affair and my husband doesn't want him to know that it is him. He says it will make matters worse. I told him that telling the spouse will ensure closer for me. I'm truly torn and don't know what to do. Help!
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 1,975
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Member
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 1,975 |
Sushi,
The spouse of your WH has every right to know that his wife is having an affair.
If you have done any reading here, you know that you need to expose the affair. Don't warn your WH that you are going to do this, just do it.
Please give us more information re your situation like length of marriage, whether there are children and frankly, if you want to save your marriage.
Read up on Plan A and exposure and we'll help you come up with a plan to end the affair and recover it that is what you want.
Who
I am the BW,
He is the FWH
D-Day: 12/02/03
Recovered
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
My husband told me that he doesn't think that the spouse knows about the affair and my husband doesn't want him to know that it is him. He says it will make matters worse. Worse for whom? For him? Yes, it will make matters worse for him for his victim to find out your H has been messing with his wife. But, that is a consequence of having an affair. The OW's H has a right and a need to know so he can protect himself from your H and his wife. It will also make it much harder for your H to continue his affair if the OWH is watching from that end. I would pick up the phone and call the man, sushi.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 3,278
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Member
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 3,278 |
TELL. And bring any physical proof you may have or that you can get.
You will never regret telling the truth.
Free yourself from their ugly secret and purge your soul.
Charlotte22
BS-42
WH-Mr. Gray-52
M-15.5y
DS*DIL-26, DGS-1
DS*DIL-22
DD-21
Dday: 6/27/07 (Plan A-sort of)
10/30-BRAVE NEW WORLD! Exposure!
11/1-Filed D
11/21-Temp hearing, Shiny takes all
12/15-Plan B
5/13/08-Spousal support extended, my Shiny
Attorney totally ROCKS!!
7/17-Court again, Shiny rules!
7/22-OWH temp hearing, Shiny kicks butt again!
12/11-Mediation; Gray won't budge, we are now headed for trial
Shiny="A Dynamic Force of Epic Proportions"
Shiny WILL win!! No doubt, Sugah!
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