Mimi - my apology for unintentionally getting you upset.

Let me amend my "most" to "a lot of" or even "several" if it makes you feel any better, though I regretfully suspect it won't.

With respect to the rest of what you posted, I will not respond.

I have learned that anyone can call ME anything they want to and if I respond in any way, the post is either edited or the thread is removed. So there is no point in responding.

All I will say is that my black friends might a have different perspective than the one you accused me of having.
I used to work the south side of Chicago and had several black friends and acquaintances warn me where NOT to go on the south side simple because I WAS white. Suffice it to say, they did not even want me walking from the parking lot to the hosptital and preferred me to park in the ER parking for my safety. Maybe it was all in their heads, but I took their advice seriously because they lived in and knew the area.

Regardless, it is evident that there is little point in having any opinion that anyone else might disagree with, and much less point in attempting to engage in any discussion of differing opinions.

I wish you well, Mimi, and understand your sensitivity to the issue.

By the time I got through the post it was locked. IMO it shouldn't have been. It did get heated here and there but if we don't talk about these issues and LEARN from each other things will not change.

Here is what I wanted to post on the subject:

First off racism is across the board. It is not only here but in other countries. Racism is a family and community/environmental issues. I think the vast majority of the US population is not racist but it does exist. IMO people don't become racist they are born into it.

Here are some of my experiences with racism.Just to clarify I am a white female age 41.

First I will start with my parents.
My mom comes from a middle class Irish family and came to the states when she was 18. She told me the first time she ever saw a black person was when she was in her early teens. A black man came to town and she was shocked. She had never seen a black man. People were not mean to him but they all didn’t know what make of him. He was so different. She moved to Boston and met more black people but still didn’t quite know how to interact. Slowly over time she realized they were just like her only a different color. She also noticed that others that she was around showed racism. This was her first real experience with true racism. She met and married my Dad when she was 23. (They married in 1961)

My dad grew up in Alabama in a very dysfunctional poor white family. He witnessed a lot of racism growing up so that was his “normal”. His dad worked for the railroad and had a lot of black co-worker. His father was VERY racist. The other kids used to taunt my father for being an N lover because he was around blacks because of his dad’s work. So my dad became racist, though he really didn’t realize that was what he was. He went into the Navy at 18 and when his submarine was in port in Boston that is when he met my mom.

My parents moved to Alabama after they married and had 2 children. My mom was shocked at the amount of racism that went on in the area they lived. There was still a lot of segregation, far more than in Boston. She hated it there. My dad couldn’t find steady work so she talked him into moving back to Boston and live with her brother until he found work. They move back and have 4 more children. (I am number 4 of 6) Growing up I heard racist things from my parents and thought nothing of it. My dad would tell racist jokes and everyone would laugh so I thought it must be funny although I didn’t quite understand it. So I would repeat the funny jokes. It wasn’t until I was older that I understood them and was horrified that I repeated them. My dad became less and less racist as time went on. Both my parents would say they aren’t racist but some of their comments would be considered racist. Luckily none of us kids followed the family trend. When I was 12 I went to Alabama for the first time. I went to stay the weekend with my grandfather (dad’s dad) and his wife. It was my sister, myself and my cousin that was born and raised in Alabama. (She was about 18) We were all walking into a store and a black man was pushing the carts back into the store. He smiled at my sister and I and we said “hi!” My cousin said “You better not let grandpa hear you talking to a black man.” (Our grandfather was farther ahead of us) Then my radar was up for the rest of the weekend. I knew then my grandfather was wrong in his views but I just met the man and I was only 12 so I didn’t say anything.

For my experiences in my own life I have seen some racism through a 3rd parties eyes. I will never forget when I was pregnant with my first child. One of my good friends at work was a Haitian man. He was very old fashioned and felt he had to take care of me for my husband. On Fridays he would drive me to the bank and then we would pick up lunch. One time when we were going through a green light and there was a car coming in the opposite direction waiting to turn in front of us. As we were going through the intersection the man yelled F’n N. My friend was understandably upset and mumbled something about getting a gun and shooting him. I forget the exact words but he didn’t mean he would kill the guy just a vent. Then we would go to my bank and he would walk me in. (oh the looks, a black man with a white woman. Not every one but just a couple of people over the few months he drove me.) Then he would go into his bank and I would wait in the car. At my bank they never asked for ID because they knew me. At his bank they always asked for his ID. This upset him. They could be racist or could have been following bank policy. I did notice sometimes if someone was negative towards him (in mannerism or verbally short) and he started to speak they would seem more positive towards him. IMO it was the French accent that maybe made them think he wasn’t one of “those people”. I also had a black female friend that had parents that were racist and it bothered her.

My husband’s family is also racist and some of his siblings are also somewhat racist. Most of his siblings are not racist including my husband. Some of the comments made by his family (esp. his mom) bothered me and once I was more established in the family I made comments to let them know I did not think the way they did. The comments stopped at least in front of me. Most were judgmental comments like most criminals and welfare people are black etc. DH and I have done our best to break this cycle. We can’t shelter our kids against seeing racism and we do not pretend it does not exist. We just let them know it is not ok but there are people out there that just don’t understand that no one race is better than another. They seem to understand this.

My best friend is Taiwanese and she came to the states when she was 18. She was also raised with some racism and heard it growing up. She has also learned that she doesn’t want to pass that onto her sons. The racism she saw was against blacks, Japanese and whites. She ended up marrying a white American. One time she told me that the Chinese nickname for whites is “big noses”. I asked her if they could think of something more insulting than that.

I am so glad my parent’s started breaking the cycle. If they had not started the positive cycle I may not have made friends with my best friend. I would not have my wonderful, colorful circle of friends and I would have led a very narrow viewed life.