2 weeks ago,my husband moved out.He left because of an argument, originially what was said was if you can't trust me, there is no reason to be married. The issue of trust came into play a long time ago, further escalated 2 years ago by his affair, which he says was only emotional. which was fairly serios as he told the ow he loved her, and he texted her alot..etc..even after we got back together, he texted her for awhile. Ever since then, I feel I have to verify it is not going on again, with her or anyone else. so I look at the bills, etc.
We have begun counseling, and I have read the book his needs or her needs. My problem is now that were seperated, how do things work..
Because of living seperatatly, it seems we are spliting up things more and more and more distance is growing between us. Our lives have been drastically altered, I haven't worked in 7 year's so I'm looking for a job. He has his own place, he has his own bills. etc..What is there left to acually work on and negotiate about, while he is living in his own place, he basically has his own life. And I feel us drifting more apart than everyday with every new decision made to seperate something else. It all hurts, and I dont even know how to start..How can you rebuild a marraige when there is so little time as a couple to do that with. I see him 3 times a week when he comes to see the kids. We speak in terms of seperating this or that..I do share my feelings at times, but he does not understand, so now I avoid that too.
Right now, I feel like I dont even care what he is doing, or who he is doing it with. Were seperated, and that's what it is. Seperated..I have my house, he has his house, he has his bills, his money. He has the other day's of the week alone.
When we talk about getting together to discuss the policy of joint agreement, I get the response from him I dont know when I can do it. I dount we even know what applies or what we have to use that policy on..Sad isnt it..were stuck in a muck and moving away from one another, help!

Well, first off, you need to see a lawyer. This is because he may have a LOT more information about divorce and divorce settlements than you do. Until you've spoken with a lawyer, please do not separate anything else. The exception being your bank accounts, which you should go and close now, taking the money with you.

I sounds like he is probably having an affair again. First, the only people who have trantums over not being trusted are people who are violating the trust. Trustworthy people seem to understand that "trust" isn't just granted. Second, he's pulling further and further away after only two weeks. My best guess is he was looking for an excuse.

I'd snoop. Find out if he's still having an affair, and expose it.

Oh, and depending on your state, don't look for a job. If you were a stay-at-home mom for 7 years, many states will make him provide for you to be a stay-at-home mom until the children are older. You're getting a job could interfere with that.

There are a lot of good divorce lawyers out there who will work with you to AVOID a divorce, while at the same to protecting your financial future.

How has he been as a husband for the last two years?

Well for the past 2 year's its been up and down. He is in the military so he is gone alot. We fought some and we got along some. We usually always fight over the same stuff over and over again and it never gets settled. Alot of distance has been there for a long time. You could say its because we have 4 kids, he works alot etc.. you could also say its because we didnt put in the work, or the right kind of have the right skills.
As a dad hands down he is a good one. And as a husband he has his good side. He cooks dinner, he supports us. We had the basic needs met, it was the emotional ones that really we really lacked in a think.
The whole trust issue was a huge one for us both, we both just have different sides..