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Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 15,310
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Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 15,310 |
What do you say to Silent Lucidity whose H's alcoholism has become EVIDENT during RECOVERY..alcohol, his new OW...
She has recently begun going to Alanon...
Last edited by mimi_here; 02/18/08 05:39 PM.
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996 |
I would tell her to go to Alanon <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
My boundary is this:
H starts to drink, I file for separation .... it's pretty cut/dry with me. I would not even have a discussion. H already knows I mean business.
I have no more years to waste living with a drunk. It's too much to ask --- a front row seat to a slow suicide of the soul --- I won't do it.
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996 |
I know that we would not have a recovered M if H continued to drink - it's like being married to an adolescent
no thanks
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Joined: May 2006
Posts: 5,871
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Joined: May 2006
Posts: 5,871 |
Thank you ladies!
It IS like being around an adolescent, and right now, he's my adolescent roommate. BLECH!
Boy, I sure did love that guy that I met years ago. He's disappeared, though. I'm struggling today with the WHO HE WAS as apposed to WHO HE IS right now. I'm starting to believe that the parts of who he was that I loved and respected most are forever gone.
Me-BS-38
Married 1997; son, 8yo
Divorced April 2009
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Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 6,643
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Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 6,643 |
Boy, I sure did love that guy that I met years ago. He's disappeared, though. I'm struggling today with the WHO HE WAS as apposed to WHO HE IS right now. I'm starting to believe that the parts of who he was that I loved and respected most are forever gone. {{{{{{{{{{{SL}}}}}}}}}}} I understand your pain and I am so there with you. So there hugging and caring.
BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996 |
What I learned about myself .... in order for me to be a loving devoted wife, I must respect my husband as well as love him.
And I do.
I am devoted.
Because he is a man I admire.
He is worthy of the leadership role in our family.
This man of mine is someone I look up to.
And he is rewarded greatly - I cherish him.
And I submit to him - because he is a wonderful man worthy of everything I can do to make him a happy guy.
And my reward? He treats me like gold.
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