My H has been back home now for 2 weeks and it's really going well except for a few problems. The first problem is the OW will not give up. She calls every day ect. He keeps telling her it's over and keeps reassuring me that he is so happy to be home. After I came home yesterday and found him talking on the phone to her I went nuts. We had a long talk and cleared some things up. We were both very honest to eachother. One thing he did tell me is that sex with OW was great but that was the only thing that was good. He meant it to make me feel better as he also said that if sex was all he had wanted in a relationship he would have stayed with her. He said that he loves me heart and soul and that he will never leave me again. At the time I didn't here anything but that the sex was good with her. I felt so dumpy. Then last night when we went to bed I asked him what she did that was so great. He got kind of mad at me and never did answer me. I didn't sleep all night. To be honest we always had good sex but not great. Alot of that was my fault as I'm just not really in the mood alot of the time. I can't seem to stop thinking of the day and concentrate on what I should be concentrating on.<BR>I just don't want to screw this up with my insecurities. Any input will really help.<P>Jill

Don't think bring her into the bedroom by talking specifics will help.<P>But a little research, a little imagination and a little attitude adjustment may work wonders!<P>Don't be too hard on yourself...was you H a real Romeo or once in bed did he expect you to just "turn on the switch"? Together you can make your sex life great...not with gimmicks, but with a mature understanding of each other.<P>At least this kind of work on the relationship is fun!<P>------------------<BR>Faith, Hope, Love Remain,<BR>but the greatest of these is Love.<BR>1 Corinthians 13:13

Don't give her the power to make yourself crazy over what he said. OFCOURSE the sex was great....it was secretive and sneaky so that added to the excitement of it all!! If she was all that, then he would have stayed with her...REMEMBER THAT!! NO MATTER WHAT HE IS WITH YOU!

Because sex with OP is secretive, in the cheaters mind it is also better, but is it ???. It seems better because lover is new and refreshing, its like dating all over again and discovering a new person. My H and I NOW have an unbelievably exciting sex life (before it was just there). The OW had a lot to do with this, as I realized he considered her to be "sexy" and this made me furious. During the past 6 weeks I went through a rapid weight loss,20 lbs(I am surprised I survived this unhealthy way to lose). (I lose when I am upset and have no appetite), have bought new, more trendy and sexier clothes, he is coming into the door and giving me "looks" - He comes over and gives me a kiss and rubs his body against mine (I don't think this even happened during our first year of marriage, 19 years ago). I guess the thought of him thinking about and being with OW has also changed me into a new person. Some good did come out of this really bad experience. I noticed that my husband is not the only one giving me a second look...

Thanks,I feel somewhat better now. I know that the adjustment period is hard and so will be the withdrawel especially if she is not letting go. I just have to really keep my perspectives.

Hey, Crazy. I've been thinking about you guys so much. I'm so glad to hear from you. Now, don't let this stuff get you down too much, ok? I know it's hard, but he loves YOU and he wants YOU and you can work everything else out, right????<P>You just keep hanging in there, ok? I'll be praying for you guys. Let us know how you're doing or email me any time.<P>Lori

Crazy...<P>Is there anyway you can block the calls from OW? Boy, that sure is annoying. Please don't be hard on yourself. All this started because of what they did. The feelings you feel are normal. Just try not to lovebust. It sounds like the OW is starting to lovebust. Soon,that will get old. Your H will probably start resenting her...and won't that be great!

Please dont let the fact that sex isnt that great for you make you think that is why he had an affair.I love sex (some may say Im obsessed with it) We have great sex and my hubby still has had cyber sesx on here with alot of women..Of course I always let myself get stuck in that mindset that it must be because Im older than him not that great of a body etc but then I hear people tell me that I look good and Im like wait a minute his cyber flings are his problem and not mine!! Please dont let this make you feel bad about yourself!!!

CW,<P>I don't want to get to deep in your business but you mentioned something that struck a cord. <P>You said:<BR>"To be honest we always had good sex but not great. Alot of that was my fault as I'm just not really in the mood alot of the time. I can't seem to stop thinking of the day and concentrate on what I should be concentrating on."<P>You see, my W has this problem. And its driving me nuts. What is so important about the events of the day that you can't let go of them for an hour? She tells me that because of this she never gets the "urge" and she's just too tired at the end of the day. Consequently, we have sex about three times a month. And two of those times are out of obligation. Its driving a wedge between us. <P>I know lots of people might disagree (putting on flame retardent suit) but sex is IMPORTANT! Sex should be fun. \<P>just my $0.02 cents