Me and my ex husband were married for 10 years. We had a very rocky marriage and it ended in divorce. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />We realized the mistake we made and have sought counseling and took the time to work on ourselves tremendously. We are back together and are stronger <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />than ever. We realized what broke us up in the first place and we have vowed to never let that happen again. We handed the wheel to Jesus instead of trying to live life "our" way. We have 2 young children together. We both want to get married again and we are going to do so. My ex is back home with me and the kids and has been for a while. Yes, legally, we are divorced, but is this still considered fornication <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />. I've gotten mixed answers and I'm a bit confused. I know that it says in the bible, "let no man tear apart a marriage that was designed by God". This is not how it goes as I can't remember exactly what it says. I want to do what is right, but I know that another separation would upset the kids in a great way, <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> as well as us. I could use some advice/input/thoughts. Thanks in advance for reading!!

How soon do you plan to be remarried? I would pose that question to your minister, priest, or pastor - whoever will be performing the marriage. And although you got counseling previously, I would seek specific "pre-marriage counseling" to make sure you have unlearned the habits that ended your marriage in the first place. This would also provide some accountability for both of you for that.

I had friends in the same situation - they decided to sleep in separate rooms in the same house, and then decided to get married sooner rather than later. This way, they set a good example for their kids (which turned out to be a subject that came up as their kids became older). The lines of fornication weren't blurred because they weren't obviously sleeping together while unmarried.

It really depends on your church. My girlfriend is living with her legally "ex" husband. They have a new child together. Since they are Roman Catholic, in the eyes of the church, they were never divorced. The child is considered "born in wedlock" by the church, and everything is honky-donky.

It's important to note that there was no adultery involved in their divorce, nor did either of them seek an annulment of their marriage.

Other churches take different views. However, I think most would tend to be understanding. I know we all try to pigeon hole relationships. We slap labels on them that have to do with how society views the relationship, rather than what the relationship is really like. Some people are "married on paper only" and some people are divorced "on paper only." Society, naturally, takes a dim view of this because it comfuses us! Anyway, you two seem to fall into the "divorced on paper only."

Keep up the good work. I'm glad you're headed for a happy ending.

Sorry to thread jack.

GG, why are you dating a girl that is living with her XH that just had a child with him? Your not acting very MB.

LOL. Oh my goodness. I'm a straight female, and engaged to be married!

I'm not dating my girlfriend. She's my friend that's a woman. I guess I'm outdated in that I still refer to my female friends as "Girlfriends" although perhaps it would be better if it were "Girl Friends."

oh that was funny!

I read your previous reply, and for those who don't know you that is EXACTLY the conclusion to jump to!

heeheehee

I know. Lexxxy, I was SO tempted to reply with something truly outrageous based on The Road's read of my post. But, then, that wouldn't be nice.

Well, if you got married in a church, before God and then got a divorce, the church says that God STILL considers you married because Jesus HATES divorce and does not recognize it.
So, if you divorce and remarry, thats adultery. BUt if you are loving your husband, why would God consider that a sin??

honestly, it matters not what any church thinks about it or says. what matters is what the bible says. my understanding is that the only allowable divorce is due to adultery. if your marriage did not end due to adultery than it should not have ended. according to man's laws you may be divorced but according to God??? I think this is a tough question. I would think you are NOT fornicating. But I WOULD be working on getting remarried asap. If you don't plan on remarrying I am not sure that you should be having sex.

I really don't know. But will again reiterate, what any church may say or think does not matter. Every religion has their own RULES, and not usually ones that you would find in the bible. Go to your bible for the answers.

mlhb