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Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 1
Junior Member
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 1 |
My husband had an affair and now the OW is pregnant. My husband said he is not sure that it is his. She thought he was going to leave me to be with her. My husband said he wants to stay with me, we have been married 15yrs and have three chilren 9, 10, & 12.. I am willing to work out our marriage, but I don't know how to handle the situation with the other child. I know my husband will have responsibilities to the child, but how much contact should he have with the OW during the pregnancy? I know she is going to try to make it a link between them. I feel bad for the unborn child in that it will be used to manipulate him. How will he be able to end this affair if she is still contacting him about the pregnancy? and soon the birth, and infancy etc. of the child. My husband said he loves me but that he also loved her. If that makes any sense. He needs to be completely away from her to get over her so that he and I can start over. What can I do?
Rudi
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 67
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Member
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 67 |
if your h is really remorseful and is sincere in his intention he needs to stop the relationship first with the ow. You should be involve in any communication with her which should be very limited, until the baby is born and paternity is established.
Use the time before the baby is born for you guys to work on your marriage.
Read, read and read. There are lots of thread here for betrayed spouse like you.
You guys can survive this but it will take a lot of hard work mostly from your H.
I'm sorry you have to go through all of this...
hugs
denise
dday aug 05
ds was 4 and dd was 3 months old when the A happened
he went home sept 05; stayed for 3 weeks and left us again for ow after 3 weeks
he left preggy ow end of oct 05 and stayed with us since then
we are no contact and recovering
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Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539
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Member
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539 |
Denise, is correct. Your H needs to be completely NC with the OW until the OC is born and DNA establhishes paternity. Use that time to recover your marriage from the affair. Get the book "Surviving An Affair" by Willard Harley, get to know the basic concepts of this site and get a good, pro marriage counselor.
Faith
me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
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Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 4
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 4 |
I was going to ask the same thing. My husband had a one-time fling and got the girl pregnant. She took a home DNA test, but I found out about the one time affair and the baby at once. It has been a week and the baby is almost one month. I do not think that I can handle it. We have been together off and on for 22 years, married for 10 and have three children. I am so hurt that I cannot breathe sometimes and I do not want to go on living here. I want to move.
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