Thank you Bryanp, but the thing is that my WW wants a divorce I just refused to give her one. She even brought the divorce package with forms home for us to complete. She hasn't spoken of divorce in weeks now, but that is the direction that she wants this to go. She has a father who enables her and in fact sent her a $25,000 check to pay off her bills and get another place to live should she want to. So she now tells me that she wants to leave NY and go live with her father for financial reasons, who also offered this as an option to her for my daughter and her to leave. So this is the dilemma that has now presented itself. I think that I'm just going to let her go and she where this goes from there.

Sorry to hear about that richrod. There really is not much you can do based on what you have just written. Please get a competent attorney to protect yourself. You deserve happiness in your life. I wish you luck.

rich:

I'm confused...

What exactly are you trying 2 save here?

I don't think you can treat this current affair as if it happened in a vacuum. You both have multiple priors.

Seek the help of a professional. People have recovered marriages after many affairs (Peggy Vaughan is a good example), but it really does require some hard work and noses 2 the grindstone.

-ol' 2long

thanks for your words and response 2long. What I think I'm trying to do is save my marriage. Please undertand, I am one that has committed many a sin in my lifetime and I for one know that God in His mercy has forgiven me. Now, though I know I don't deserve the treatement I'm getting I know that if God can forgive me that I too can forgive. I do want my family and I know that it's going to take alot of effort. I also know that perhaps its going to take me letting my WW go so that she sees what she will be missing in me. Until she leaves after the school year for my daughter's sake, she will continue to live in our home and I will continue to use Plan "A". She has even told me that she is now not sure that if leaving NY is the route she wants to take. But, if that is the course she takes, she will know that I did what I could to love her and hold the marriage together. She on the other hand will know that she did absolutely nothing. I can't worry about this anymore. I have to start taking care of myself and my daughter while I have her with me. I will continue to post if any updates as time goes on. Thanks again...