Ok I'll call the harleys.

Tell them you want STEVE. I think you need some help overcoming your FEAR if you are going to make it, and IMO, he is the guy who can help you with that.

One thing I do know for sure, scs, and that is if you don't lift a finger to help yourself [avoid making your H angry at all costs] you are not very likely to make it. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

UPDATE:

I found out that there was only one text message from that EA out of state the whole month of January. He never replied back or called back. H did tell a friend that he did cut off communication with that person as he knows it is wrong. So, I must say that he did tell the truth about that. If he has strong feelings for that person, then he must take time to get over them (if he chooses that to do so).

It is kind of a relief to know this, but however there is still work to be done. I will be talking with STEVE this week. Thank you all for your advice I will keep everyone posted.

And once H moves out of house, I am not going to let myself be manipulated (dates me while dating others). Ok people get this talk about looney - he thinks if he dates others it will help him decide whether he wants to be married to me or not. That is what he told me last week. ARGH! Makes me mad!

ummmmmmmmmm, didn't he already "decide" he wanted to be married when he.............married you? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

As far as finding only one text message in January, that means nothing. It could just as well mean he has another mode of communication, such as a secret cell phone, etc. Men don't just move out for no reason, so I would strongly suspect an affair.

Melody -

I discovered accidently today he bought a 6 month online personal dating package on Yahoo.com a month ago.

How do I handle this one?

And please give me link or phone number I can contact Steve. I am upset and I am having trouble finding it on this site.

Hi scs, when you say accidentally, what do you mean exactly? You ARE spying on him, right? Are you monitoring all of his computer activities? Do you have a keylogger on his computer?

Here is Steve's link: http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi7010_about.html

Well I was paying one of his credit cards online for him and I noticed the list of stuff of what was charged. I copied it and kept it.

No I do not have spyware on his computer. I will lose access any how once he moves out of the house this weekend.

Thank you for the link.

BTW do you think it will be benefit to me to talk to steve even though H is not ready to work on our marriage yet?

Is he taking the computer with him? If he is, perfect. You can load Spector Pro. He absolutely will not be able to find it if you load in stealth mode.

Download it today. Grab all his usernames and passwords now before the move out and then set it to email you after he has gone. As it emails you with his activity, you can log in and check the details on everything he is doing.

Then, as we say in England, Robert will be married to your aunt.

Just checking in SCS. Have you talked to Steve yet? I definitely think you should talk to him especially because your WH is not ready to work on it yet.

Then you have a very short window to get some spyware on his computer. Download eblaster on his computer. With eblaster you can have the reports emailed to another computer daily.


Absolutely! Steve will coach you in the best way to start saving your marriage. You have to do some work here, scs, or you are going to lose your marriage.

That means EXPSOSURE and means getting some spyware on his computer. Go to http://www.spectorsoft.com/ and download and install eblaster.

Maybe I made a mistake but here it goes. I checked the history on that puter found he also recently signed up for eharmony.com. And he even cruised the marriage counseling site there (I did not know eharmony had that).

And he checked his new yahoo email account guess looking for responses.

I just couldn't take it anymore, I confronted him about the yahoo thingy (did not tell him about the others I knew of). Told him how I found out and how deeply this hurt me. I don't know if that did any good or not.

Of course I got a bunch of excuses. Tired of excuses.

Then he asks me to watch tv with him after dd goes to bed. Did that. We made love.

In a way, it did pay off confronting him on this issue. And I did expose it to others what he is doing on these online dating communities.

So he did admit he is being an s.o.b. so maybe the moral values he has buried deep in him will surface again.

BTW, he has changed his mind about moving out full time - he is going to be moving out part time. I will however continue to keep praying as there has been some positive coming out of it.

It is possible that eHarmony has a policy regarding married people using their site. You could email them and let them know that he is married, they could boot him off. He should NOT be dating or even trying to date while he is married, plain and simple.

Those excuses are part of the fog. WS's read from a script. It will always hurt, but it helps to know that the crap they spew is pretty universal.

Have you called Steve yet?

Yahoo also has a policy regarding one to be single. I will email eharmony and find out. Thanks for the tip! BTW, according to the history, he was in the marriage counseling section of that site.

I will be calling steve. Just not this week, money is tight.